


Returned

by phantomofsam



Series: Thorin and Eril [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Betrayal, Constant Smut, F/M, I told you there would be a sequel, Maybe - Freeform, Sequel, Slow To Update, Smut, ha, it'll be great, maybe not, there will be smut, who knows - Freeform, you'll love it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:07:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 37,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8638090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomofsam/pseuds/phantomofsam
Summary: This is a story of Eril and Thorin, after they're safely in the mountain.Welcome to the sequel of Exile! If you're reading this for the first time/have not read Exile, then some things (most things) are not going to make sense. Probably. You should check it out first, basically.Forewarning- there will be smut. More than in the last one just because they'll actually have opportunities now. Anyway, I'll put what chapters it's in here as well as mark the chapter titles so you know. :D  
    Exile
  Chapters containing aforementioned smut: 2, 6, 9, 11, 16, 24





	1. Betrothed

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the sequel of Exile! I hope you enjoyed the first story. This one may be slow to update, I'm not sure yet. It all kind of depends on when I get the ideas for it. It's looking pretty good right now. Anyway, enjoy the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo! Welcome to _Returned,_ the sequel of _Exile!_ So, if you're reading this story and you have _not_ read _Exile_ , you really do have to because of plot points and jokes and character development. I'm sure you understand. Here is a link to the aforementioned [_Exile_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8563438/chapters/19631020). I hope that you enjoy it and come back to this story when you've finished.

_Thorin stabbed Azog in return. I yelled out in my own personal agony. He flipped Azog onto his back and forced Orcrist through the ice. I stood and ran to Thorin. He had managed to stand. He made his way to a stone and fell on his back. No. No this wasn’t happening. Because if this was happening, then that meant that I was… that he was… it couldn’t be happening. Bilbo was running towards us. He slid over next to me and looked desperately at Thorin and myself._

_No, no no no. This wasn’t happening. Thorin was not dying, because if he was dying then that meant that I would lose him and I couldn’t do that. I kneeled next to him, putting pressure on his wound. He reached up and gently caressed my cheek._

_“I’m sorry. It seems you were right. ” He began, choking on blood._

_“You stop that right now. Because you’re not going to die here. I refuse to hear of it.” I looked around desperately. “Bilbo, my bag! Go now, quickly!” Bilbo complied and dropped the bag before me. I reached in and pulled out the leaves I had gathered from Mirkwood. I quickly beat them into a pulp with an arrow before applying it to Thorin’s wounds. The wound closed. But his eyes wouldn’t open. I laid my head against his chest. His heartbeat was fading quickly. What could I do? I couldn’t let him die. I wouldn’t. I put my hands over his heart. There was an old elvish blessing that allowed for us to connect our lifeforce to another. A few words and I would be able to save him. I had to save him. Gandalf moved to stop me. When had he gotten here? I didn’t care._

_“If you do that, you will die.” He warned, reading my thoughts, apparently._

_“Not necessarily. I’ve lived a long life. He might… Eru might… he might give me more time. For my years of service.” I could feel the tears starting to form._

_“Eril-”_

_“He can’t die! Not now! I just got him back! I won’t lose him again!”_

_“Then he will lose you. You know that he would not ask for that. He would never forgive himself.”_

_“I can’t if I let him die without trying.”_

_I held my hands over his heart and closed my eyes. I prayed silently before I started speaking. The words were dangerous. They were words we were all taught, in case we had to use it, but we were encouraged not to. I whispered them. I willed for Thorin to come back. Nothing was happening. There was nothing. I started over. Nothing. No. Please no. I opened my eyes. Thorin’s heartbeat was completely gone. He was gone. I laid over his chest. Tears flooded down my cheeks. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I couldn’t let this happen._

_“It’s over, Eril.” Bilbo said sadly._

_“I know.” I whispered. “I just… I loved him so much. I can’t lose him like this.”_

_They let me stay there for a long time. But we had to have a funeral. Thorin’s body was burned with Fili and Kili’s. I left almost immediately after. I couldn’t possibly say anything to anyone. I couldn’t find my voice. I just felt dead. I had always said losing Thorin would kill me. I just couldn’t let myself feel anything. I went back to Thranduil. After I had presented him with the Arkenstone, he had offered me my place back. I finally understood why he had acted the way that he had when he lost his wife. This was the end of it all._

I woke up with a start. I looked outside. The sky was dark, the only light in the room came from the stars and moon. I took a deep breath and shook my head, my dark hair falling around me. There was a strand of almost silver hair from when I had tried to save him. But that dream… that was the same nightmare I had been having for weeks. Ever since the Battle of Five Armies, really. It was what I had feared would happen. I looked to the other side of the bed, where Thorin was still sleeping soundly. The leaves I had used to heal his wound had done their job, but there was still a scar. I laid back and rested my head on his chest. The ring on my finger caught the light. Thorin had made it when we announced our betrothal. The runes of his family were etched along the outside. I had made one for him as well, with elvish lettering along the outside. It was a vow.

A vow to never leave him until I breathed my last.

The usual elf stuff.

I laid back amongst the pillows. I rested my head against Thorin’s chest. Hearing his steady heartbeat always calmed me down. His arms wrapped around my waist. He muttered something in Khuzdul in his sleep. It was adorable, really. I drifted off to sleep again.

Thorin was awake before me. He was sitting by the window with a pipe. I sat up slowly and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I propped myself up on my elbows. Had it really been three weeks since everything had happened? It seemed like a lifetime ago. I, for one, was ready to just sit and relax for a short time. Just spend some quality time with Thorin for once.

I was surprised to see that the people were very receptive of me. They had been streaming back to Erebor and Dale from all over. When they heard their king was betrothed to an elf, they still rejoiced, just for the fact that their king was in fact engaged to anyone at all. It was certainly a relief. I had been terrified that there would be rioting. Now, that isn’t to say that everyone approved. There were those that would rather have no queen than have me as their queen. Those people weren’t very vocal, or if they were, then they were the minority. 

Thorin looked over and smiled at me.

“How long have you been awake?” I asked, yawning.

“An hour or so.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I would not risk your wrath, trust me.”

“Careful, Thorin. People might start to think that you’re actually intelligent.”

“Mahal forbid.”

He put down his pipe and sat next to me on the bed. It was a part of his morning ritual to arrange my hair into an intricate braid. I had stopped questioning it after the second or third time. It wasn’t annoying. It was sweet. I relaxed into his hands.

“What do we have to do today, Thorin?” I asked.

“Hmmm,” He pushed my hair from my neck and placed a kiss there, “I believe we have to write the zarb.”

“Really? Do we have to?”

“Dwarven tradition.”

“I take it that will take the whole day?”

“It will.”

“Fantastic.”

I rolled away from Thorin and got off the bed. The zarb was a traditional contract drawn up after two dwarves were betrothed. Granted, this was not traditional at all, but we were trying to meld the two societies together. The rings we wore on our right index fingers were from the elves. The zarb was supposed to outline the “husbandly duties”, as Thorin put it, as well as inheritance, and obligations. Considering dwarven fondness for contracts, I was expecting something at least as lengthy as what Bilbo had been given when he joined the company. I had to mentally prepare for that.

I was the one who wanted more quality time with Thorin, after all. I had asked for this. I was actually enjoying it. It was fantastic to not have to hide our relationship. I changed into a dark tunic and leather pants. I pulled on my boots. Thorin had made it a point to never to wear the regal clothing he had before. Bad memories and all. He wore a simple leather outfit like he did on the journey here. He looked handsome.

I was the first to leave our room. I walked through Erebor. We had spared no expense rebuilding it. Anything that we could do, we did do. Especially anything we could do to get rid of the smell of Smaug. No one was allowed into the treasury for fear of the madness overtaking them. Even Thorin was afraid that he would start to change again. I assured him that I would throw something very heavy at him before I would let him do something stupid. Perhaps even the Arkenstone. Of course, that was resting safely in the treasury, far from sight unless it was needed for something. Thorin wasn’t taking any risks.

I made my way to the throne room. We had remade the throne. Smaug’s claw marks weren’t exactly a decorative choice. 

Balin was walking through with a clipboard. He smiled when he saw me.

“Eril, what brings you out so early? You’re not tired of Thorin’s snoring yet, are you?”

“Not quite yet. He’s gotten better now that he sleeps on an actual bed. What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to organise where the families are going.”

“It’s a good thing you dwarves built so many tunnels and rooms. We’re not running out of space yet?” I looked at the board. “They’re staying in Dale?” Balin nodded. “At least it will make trade that much easier. And what about Laketown? Have they started rebuilding yet?”

“Bard’s been doing his best. The people elected him their leader and they’re staying in Dale. Laketown was only established after Smaug attacked.”

“Good. He’ll be easier to deal with than most. Did you explain to him-”

“The effects of the Arkenstone? Yes, he’s forgiven Thorin”

“Good, good. This mess is sorting itself out. Make sure that Thorin and I aren’t disturbed today. We’ve got to write the zarb.”

“I understand, lass. I’ll take care of it.” He smiled fondly at me. “He’s truly met his match with you.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Thank you, Balin. For everything.”

“Anything for my queen.” He bowed.

“Oh, don’t bow. As far as I’m concerned, we’re equals. We survived the same perils.”

He smiled. I handed him back the clipboard and started back. Thorin walked into the throne room with an apple, which he promptly threw at me. I caught it easily and gave him a look. He shrugged.

“Come on, Thorin. If we’re going to write this thing, let’s do it now.”

“Eager, are we?”

“Yes, I am. Let’s go.”

He took my hand and we started to walk to another room, where we would stay until the zarb was done. It wouldn’t be that hard, would it? It was just the rest of our lives.


	2. **The Acquirement Sum**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well. We all know what the asterisks mean. Since Thorin and Eril already know each other, why wait? Plus in all of my research of dwarven and elvish wedding customs, (because they're engaged and must live happily ever after) there is some kind of acquirement sum, and in the absence of said sum, it's in the form of sexual relations. So yeah. Here you go. :D
> 
> Also, Happy Thanksgiving, guys! For those of you celebrating, I hope you're with the people that you love and that love you! <3

Thorin had made sure that the room was prepared for us being in there for days, gods forbid. There was food and drinks, a bed in the corner (I wonder why he would put that there). And of course, great lengths of parchment and plenty of ink. We sat across from each other. I twisted my ring nervously. I had no idea what went into one of these contracts and I had a sneaking suspicion that Thorin didn’t really know either. He only had one sister, and his brother died before he could get married. It would be interesting to see how this went.

“All right. Let’s get started then, shall we?” I said.

“Not so fast. Surely you know of the acquirement sum.” Thorin said with a devilish grin.

“The what?”

“The acquirement sum. The groom must pay the bride in some form or another before the zarb can really be made.”

“Is that so?”

“But seeing as you are an elf and have no sum set for you… it would seem that something else will have to suffice.”

“And what would that be, my dear Thorin?”

I hated his stupid grin. He walked over to me and kissed me. He bit my lower lip. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. I closed my eyes and let out a breath, giving Thorin the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. He slipped his hand down my back, resting in the small dip there. I grabbed the collar of his tunic. 

“That would be why there’s a bed here.”

“I should’ve known. Business second with you, always.”

“Forever. Besides, it’s tradition.”

“Tradition. Sure.”

I was always surprised by how easily he was able to pick me up. He dropped me onto the bed. I gave him a look. He didn’t seem to care as he crawled over me, that stupid grin still there. He moved his hand up my thigh, stopping at the lacing on my trousers. I took his collar and pulled him into another kiss. His other hand went up my tunic. Thorin broke away the kiss to pull it over my head. You know, I wasn’t going to let him have all of the control this time. 

I slid my hands down his pants, grabbing his already hard cock. He growled, breaking away from the kiss for a moment.

“Is there a problem, _my liege?_ ” I purred into his ear.

“Isn’t there always a problem with you?” He replied, his breathing laboured.

I chuckled and pulled my hand away. His lips crashed against mine, taking my breath away. He quickly pulled my trousers away, unlacing his own and throwing them to the side. He dipped his head between my legs, his tongue circling around my clit. I grabbed his hair. He knew the exact things to do to unwind me. He stuck two fingers inside, pumping them in and out. 

I could remember the first time we had had sex. It had been in a cottage, of all things, and an abandoned one at that. Even so, because it had been with him, it was perfect. We had come so far since then. Thorin had nearly died twice, was on the edge of death once, and had gone literally insane with greed. I had been sentenced to death, cut up by trolls, and bitten by a Warg. His list was more impressive than mine. Not that I was keeping track. 

Thorin flicked his tongue. I tangled my hands tighter in his hair. He was quick about making my orgasm wash over me. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back up for a kiss. He took the time to guide his member to my entrance. I bit into his shoulder as he entered. He let out a guttural moan, making me want more. I threw my head back into the pillows ashe began to move. I didn’t even have to say a word for him to know what I wanted. When it came to this, he knew exactly what to do. 

He was a perfect fit. His breathing was laboured and mine was all but non-existent. He kept his thumb against my clit, rubbing circles. I gripped at the sheets. Then clawed his back. It was really a switch of the two. I was trying to spare his back. His thrusts started to become erratic. He was close. So was I. Again. 

I pulled him into another kiss. I never wanted to let go. A few more pumps, and we reached our climax together. He rolled to the side. I rested my head on his chest. I put a leg over his to make myself more comfortable. He rubbed circles on my shoulder with his index finger. I looked at the ring sitting there. Thorin reached for something on the side of the bed. He pulled up a bottle of wine. Elvish wine.

“Really?” I chuckled.

“I made sure to get the white wine. I thought the red might be a little too soon.” Thorin pulled off the cork.

“You would be right.”

Thorin kissed the scar on my wrist.

“You threw the jar at the trolls.” I thought back.

_Blood like wine, the trolls had said. I wouldn’t have thought that I’d see it covering stone._

_We walked through the woods. The trolls were all stone. There was a rather large splatter of blood against one of them, along with broken clay on the ground._

_“Mine?” I asked._

_“Yes.” Thorin pushed past me._

“I’m quite sure that’s when you first started to fall in love with me.” I declared.

“Oh, really?” Thorin chuckled. “You wouldn’t be wrong. Seeing you there, dying… it was certainly eye-opening.”

“Is that why you insulted me in Rivendell?”

“Maybe.”

“Definitely.”

“All right then, _elf_ , tell me. When did you start to fall for me?” Thorin kissed the top of my head.

I thought back. “Clearly, that night in the cave.”

“Our first kiss.”

I smiled. “Of course, it might have been the first time we did something like this.”

He pushed me off the bed. That hurt. But, I took the opportunity to get dressed. And take the wine from him. He looked genuinely offended. Until he pulled another bottle from the same place. Damn him. Several drinks later, we were both dressed (strangely the opposite of what normally happened) and sitting in the same place we had been earlier.

“Are you ready for this?” I asked.

“I’ve never been more ready in my life. And I faced a dragon.”

“ _We_ faced a dragon.”

“Yes, we did.”

He smiled and pulled the parchment forward, holding a quill in his hand. I was ready. There was no one I would rather be here with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All righty then. I'm doing my best to write chapter three, it may be a couple of days! Also chapters might not be as long as they used to be, I'm not really sure yet. I'm going to do my best to keep it at 5 pages on google docs and over 1000 words each.


	3. The Zarb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A zarb is a wedding contract, like a prenup but not since dwarves don't get divorced (neither do elves. Marriage is for life and death). Dwarves have them, elves do not. I'm doing my best to integrate the two together, but the marriage customs that Tolkien laid out are essentially the same for them both, but the dwarves are a bit more complicated. I'm doing my best, though, and I think it'll be okay.

It was another three bottle of wines before we really got started on the contract. It was really more planning and procrastinating and doing whatever we could to _not_ have to write it. It wasn’t really that we didn’t want to or that we weren’t ready. Writing the zarb meant that this was real. That we were accepting each other forever, in life and in death. We knew in our hearts that that was true, it was just hard to admit it out loud. To put it in writing, now that was somehow harder. Once we got married, we would be saying that we would _never_ take another. I hoped that it was the right thing. No, I knew that it was. I loved Thorin more than anything. I think that had been proven.

Thorin’s handwriting was still elegant. He started by out our names across the top. It was as good a first step as any, I supposed..

“Obligations?” I said, laying back on the bed. “What does that even mean, obligations?”

“I have no clue. I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to make it up as we go along.”

“You’re clearly right. These are your traditions. You’re supposed to be teaching me!”

“You’re very right, _amrâlimê_. My first obligation as your husband is teaching you the ways of my people, while tirelessly listening to the ways of your own.”

“We’ve made progress!”

Thorin chuckled. It was the first step of many. The next thing that we came up with was how he would do all he could to protect me. Some of them were serious, some of them were less so, like he would (this was entirely Thorin’s idea) dedicate at least one night a week to just the two of us, in whatever way he saw fit. We had to be careful what went on here. It would be read publicly, after all. I continued to lay back on the bed.

“Well, I think that about covers the obligations to each other.” I sighed. Over a foot of parchment later. “Next is inheritance, am I correct?”

“You’re learning.”

“I am, you’re upholding your first obligation well. Come. What shall we leave our hypothetical children?”

“Hypothetical?” He looked up at me.

“Well, who knows? I wouldn’t mind having smaller versions of us running around.”

He smirked. “Neither would I.”

“Don’t smirk, it doesn’t suit your beard.”

Clearly, I was lying, as everything suited his beard somehow.

“What’s wrong with my beard?”

He looked genuinely offended. I had to spend half an hour convincing him that his beard was in fact quite lovely and made him look very handsome. Then we were able to continue. 

The general inheritance upon Thorin’s death was that the oldest son would inherit Erebor. If there was no son, then the next oldest man in the line of Durin would take the kingdom. If there was none, then it would be the eldest daughter, provided she was married, as it would be improper any other way. If Thorin were to die before his children were of age, I would be in charge until they were of the proper age to rule. If we had more than one child, the younger children would be provided with a parcel of land and a large sum of gold, and would of course be lords of wherever they were.

We added a few extra agreements, just things about us. To really send it home. I’m not entirely sure. Elvish weddings didn’t have anything like this. We just had a feast, said the Seven Elvish Blessings of Eru, and then went to a private hall to consummate the marriage. Dwarves were much more thorough. Like Thorin had predicted, it took the whole day to get the entire zarb written out. It was three and a half feet of parchment, with a few extensions. I was all too happy to collapse onto the bed from exhaustion. Thorin just chuckled and made sure that the ink was dry. He sprinkled sand over the words. 

“Ready to sign?” Thorin asked.

“Ready to be officially betrothed?” I asked, moving from the bed to the table.

Thorin smiled and handed me a quill and ink jar. He had already signed his name, Thorin Oakenshield, Son of Thrain. I signed my own next to it. Eril Trahandiel, Daughter of Trahand. My elvish style of writing deeply contrasted Thorin’s dwarvish style. Just like we contrasted each other. I smiled.

I sat in one of the stone chairs next to him, leaning my head against his shoulder. I always felt most comfortable there. Thorin folded the paper and handed it to me. It was sealed with red wax and Thorin’s seal. It matched the top of a tattoo that he had on his right shoulder. It was another dwarven tradition to have tattoos with your personal seal, the things you had mastered, your weapon of choice, and your station. Thorin’s seal was a four-pronged diamond shape. I had a seal as well, but had no tattoo. It wasn’t really an elf thing.

“You’re supposed to hold onto that until the reading. Think you can handle that?” He said.

“I don’t know. It’s a very important piece of paper and you know me. Very careless when it comes to documents that outline the rest of my life.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Trust me, Thorin, I’ll protect this with my life.”

“Well, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” He leaned down and kissed me. “You know, we’ve still got this room.”

“And we’ve got obligations outside of this room.”

“All right. Let’s go.” He sighed heavily in mock disappointment.

“I’ll go put this somewhere safe.”

We walked out together. I kissed the top of his head and walked to our shared room. Really, it was Thorin’s room and I was supposed to be staying in a separate room, and I did sometimes. But after almost losing Thorin to Azog the Defiler, I was determined to spend as much time with him as I could. He didn’t argue. I went to the desk in the corner and put the zarb in the centre drawer. As an extra precaution, I locked the drawer. I wasn’t going to take any risks. Not with this. I sighed in relief. Before now, there had been this sort of weight on my shoulders. Now it was gone and I felt free.

Thorin was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. He had a small smile on his face.

“What?” I asked.

“How did I get so lucky?”

“To fall in love with someone who’s a part of a race you hate?” I chuckled. “Same way I did, I guess. Damned wizard smoke.”

Thorin laughed. It was a hearty laugh that suited him well. I smiled. It was dark out now, moonlight shining in through the opened window. I was very happy to say that I had gotten used to the cold wind of the mountain. Or maybe I just had Thorin to keep me warm. Possibly both. I like the idea of both. I changed into an over sized tunic and crawled into our bed. It was a good thing dwarves liked oversized beds. I wouldn’t have fit otherwise. Unless Thorin specifically had this bed made for the both of us. I didn’t really care, either way. It was comfortable.

Thorin crawled under the covers with me and grabbed my waist, pulling me against his chest. My hand traced his scar again. I thought back to that day again. I thought about that hopeless feeling again. Complete hopelessness and just… being lost. It had felt like nothing would ever matter again. I moved closer to Thorin and moved my hand forward. I didn’t want to think about that again. Even the memory took something away from me. 

“What’s on your mind?” Thorin asked, playing with the white part of my hair.

“I was just thinking about that day.” I responded.

I didn’t have to tell him what day it was. He just knew. Probably because I wasn’t the only one that had nightmares about it. Every once and awhile, he’d wake me up with his thrashing. I apparently did the same. We didn’t really talk about it. It probably would have helped. I just didn’t want to intentionally relive those feelings anymore.

“Hm.”

“What?”

“What makes you think of it?”

“The scar.” I gently ran my fingers over it. He sucked in a breath. “I see Azog jumping out of the water again. I feel the cold of the ice. I can see the fear in your eyes. I see when you decided to sacrifice yourself to save the others. To save me. What about you? What are your nightmares?”

So much for not talking about it. Maybe this would help stop them from coming back.

“The streak in your hair. I remember when I first opened my eyes after I killed Azog. All of your hair was gray. You skin was paler than usual. When you opened your eyes, they were completely white, like you had never had iris’s at all. All the blue was gone. The scar on your arm,” Thorin kissed it gently, moving to my palm, “makes me think of the trolls, and how I wished I could have killed them myself for what they did to you. The warg bite,” he trailed his hand to the jagged teeth marks, “makes me think of how it could have ended very differently. Sometimes it’s one or the other. Sometimes they all happen at once. I can feel you die in each one.”

“Oh. I had no idea.”

“I know you didn’t.” He gave a half-hearted smile. “It terrifies me. The thought of living without you…”

“I have the same feeling. Do you think that’s what they mean when they talk about soulmates?”

“Who’s they?”

“Come on, Thorin. Every society has a concept of soulmates.”

“I believe that whatever this is is what is described by my people. And yours. It has to be, doesn’t it?”

“I hope so.”

Thorin didn’t say anything else. He didn’t really have to. He put another arm around me and kissed the top of my head. I stared at the dark stone wall and listened to Thorin’s steady heartbeat. I closed my eyes. I had to sleep now. I was dreading the nightmare that I knew would come soon enough. I hoped that staying with Thorin would be enough. He moved his calloused hand up and down my arm. The steady motions helped me drift off into another nightmare.

_It was different this time. We weren’t on the ice. We were in Erebor. Thorin was dressed in his kingly attire, a great fur coat over his shoulders. The gold, silver, and obsidian crown rested over his head. His eyes were a dull gray, clouded by his greed. He looked at me like I was nothing important. He turned his gaze to the gold. He stared out at it greedily._

_Why was I dreaming of the time we spent in Erebor? I had never gone this far back before. It had always been that day on the frozen river. Not that this was any better. It was almost worse. During this time, Thorin had been alive, but he had looked right through me. It was like he was dead and I was seeing a ghost. He had seemed to still love me, somewhere in his mind, but his eyes… his dead eyes scared me. I couldn’t take it. I tried to run. It didn’t work. Everywhere I turned, I saw them. Gray and lifeless. That damned crown sitting on his head. Thorin the King Under the Mountain, Thorin Oakenshield forgotten._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still writing chapter four. I have to be at work in a few hours, so I don't know how much I'll actually be able to get done. Just a quick warning- I don't know if Returned will update as quickly as Exile did, simply because a.) I had the movies to go off of (although I do have the outline of this story completely finished) and b.) I've been on break all week. In a couple more days, I'll be going back to classes and then I'll have less free time to write. I promise to try my best to update quickly, and I won't abandon this story. Three weeks or so after this one, I have a two week long break, so I can write more over Christmas! All right, for those of you that made it through this whole thing, thank you so much for reading and leaving comments and kudos and all that jazz. It is so much fun to write about Thorin and Eril. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who enjoys their story. :D


	4. Among the People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well, you had to wait a day before I posted. How did that feel? I do apologise! I'm not working tomorrow and I'll have time to write tonight (aka now) so I hope to post chapter 5 tomorrow. If I can, I want to write at least two more chapters. I do have to go back to classes on monday and I don't get another break until the 23 of december. That lasts two weeks. So this story may take longer to finish than Exile did. Anyway, rambling. I hope you enjoy it.

I woke up first. The sun was coming up. I kept my eyes closed for a few more moments. Thorin never wore that crown anymore. I didn’t have to worry about that. It had just felt so real…

I got dressed in a simple leather outfit and started outside. I didn’t bother leaving a note for Thorin. He would find me later. I walked past the throne room, ignoring the rising panic that came from the remnants of my dream. I looked out one of the windows to Dale. There were a few people moving around, getting ready to start selling things once again. There were a few dwarves who had started selling their wares to the humans in Dale once again. It was very much like the days of old, before Smaug had come. And we were more prepared for a dragon attack now then we had been before. We were able to locate more black arrows. Balin, Oin, and Dwalin had gone to retrieve them from an old mine. They came back victorious. There were seven in the city under the care of Bard and eight within the halls of Erebor. We weren’t taking any chances, with good reason.

I felt like I was cooped up. Granted, my cage was a palace with extensive mines and several places I had yet to explore, but I was an elf, after all. I was used to the freedom of the forest. A forest I was still banished from, I was sure. I hadn’t exactly gone back to Thranduil to confirm. I didn’t need to. Anyway. Back to feeling cooped up. Dale was beautiful. It would be nice to walk among the people. 

I walked through Erebor. I smiled at the people that I passed who wished their best for Thorin and me. I was still shocked at how well received our relationship had been. Maybe they were just doing it to appease their King, who they adored so much. Maybe they actually liked me. I hoped that was the case, but if the past had shown me anything, what I hoped for generally didn’t really work out for me. It would be best if I just stopped hoping all together.

Now what kind of a life would that be?

I went to Dale. It really looked so much better. It was so beautiful. The rubble had been cleared, buildings were being remade, the people were smiling. They were laughing and talking like nothing had happened. It was nice. I walked through the marketplace and looked at what had been made. There were several fantastic wares that were made both by men and dwarves. I couldn’t deny the craftsmanship. It was so expertly done. The details were fantastic. I picked up a necklace. It had been made by a dwarf jeweller. There were rubies inlaid to silver fastenings. I hadn’t seen anything quite as beautiful. Well, it was a close second to Thorin’s ring. 

I put the necklace back.

“Oh!” The maker said. He smiled at me. “You’re Eril, aren’t you? The king’s betrothed!”

“I, uh, yes. I am.” I smiled.

“Please, take the necklace. It would look lovely on you.”

“I couldn’t possibly. Something of this level of craftsmanship deserves to be paid for in full, not given away.”

“An elf who’s kind? I can see why our king is so taken with you.”

“Yes, I’ve been told that’s the case.”

“And you’re polite?”

“Well, I’ve always found dwarves more agreeable than my own kind.” I said with another smile. “You’re very kind, sir. I wish you the best.”

I moved on to another stand. Many of my interactions had gone that way since I’d come to stay at Erebor. I had gone to Rivendell like I had planned to with Bilbo. Elrond had already known about the engagement. He was thrilled. Elrond wanted the old alliances to be realised again. He had seemed uneasy, but insisted that I go back to Erebor. I had gladly. Still. I looked out across Dale. I wondered what had been on his mind. I shook my head. I talked with some more people. Some of them I knew, some of them knew me. It was nice. It was perfect. I loved the culture around here. It was so much more lively than Mirkwood had ever been. 

I made a few small purchases. A necklace for dinners, beads for the robe I was supposed to be making for the wedding, practical things really. I had started on the robe. I had just been… busy with other things. Such as Thorin. And… Thorin. I was using Thorin as an excuse to not make the robe. I knew that. I was adept at archery, not making robes. I was certain Dis, Thorin’s sister, would happily help me. I got along with her well. We had first met at Kili’s funeral. Fili had told her what I had done for him and Tauriel, even if it had been highly unusual given his age. Only 77 and married. It was practically unheard of. There had been some extenuating circumstances that had made it necessary. She greatly appreciated how good of a friend I had been to her children and her brother. I greatly appreciated how many great stories she told me about young Thorin. Including how she pushed him into a river when his beard came in before hers. 

It was quality entertainment. Especially when I got to hold it over his head. I was going to be a great wife.

I heard the people start cheering. I turned and saw a crowd. Thorin. Or Bard. It had to be one of them. It was either the great King Under the Mountain or the Slayer of Smaug. I leaned against a building. It was Bard. He was fighting to get through the crowd. I could understand that. I walked over to them.

“All right, I think we should give Bard some space. I believe he’s trying to get home to his family.” I said.

The people nodded. Bard came over to me.

“Thank you, Eril. Always coming to the rescue.” He said,

“Only when I can. Are you? Headed home?”

“I am. There were a few disputes that I had to help resolve.”

“That’s what happens when you’re unofficially officially elected as a leader. They really do love you.” I smiled. “Besides, you were born into it. You’re a natural.”

“That seems to come more easily to you.”

“Yes, but I’m over 3000 years old and I’ve been trained to be a diplomat since I was six. I’m supposed to easily lead.”

“Over 3000? You don’t look a day of it.”

“Yes, I’ve been told that before. It’s an elf thing. Staying young forever is great. Until…” 

No. I wasn’t going to have that train of thought again. I had it far too many times and I wasn’t going to let it ruin anything now. I knew that Thorin and I wouldn’t… hm. No. Stop. I was not going to do this. No.

“Anyway.” I shook my head. “I’d better be getting back to Erebor. And you to your family. Tell Sigrid I said hello.”

I turned away and started to the mountain. Now that the thought was in my head, it wasn’t going away. Thorin would age and I would not. We both acknowledged that. We accepted it. I cursed it. Still. Even if the years would be a blink compared to my whole life, they would be years that I would cherish and hold close until the day that I did die, whenever that would be. That was what was important to me. No more doubting myself. No more doubting this union. 

When I got back to Erebor, I asked Balin to make sure that I wasn’t disturbed, not even by Thorin. I went to my own room. I had a wedding robe to make.

~-~-~-~-~-

I was eventually disturbed. It was by Thorin, but it was because it was late and I hadn’t eaten anything. He brought me food. Elvish food. I knew I had made the right choice. Where had he gotten it? Whatever. I put the far too unfinished wedding robe to the side.

“Well, well, well, it seems you may know me too well.” I said as I took a bit of the salad.

“I think I do. Two weeks of sitting in a room with nothing else to do can do that.” He responded.

“I thought for a long time no one would be able to get this close. Don’t, uh, hm. Don’t abuse that, Thorin.”

“I once told you I could never hurt you. I’d be far too afraid of your vicious tongue.” He joked. I smiled smally. “Come on, Eril. You know me just as well as I know you.”

“I know.” I kissed him. “Am I the only one who thinks we’ve had one too many heart to hearts in the last couple of days?”

“I don’t know. Maybe one more?”

“Not tonight. I’m tired. Let’s go get some sleep.”

“You do that. I have some more business to attend to on my own. I’ll join you later.”

I nodded. He gave me another small kiss and walked out of the room. I leaned back into my chair. It was late and I had meant that I needed some sleep. It was about time that Thorin started staying out late to figure out the problems of his kingdom. I had a faint smile across my lips. Things were finally starting to get to a point where they were normal. Things were about to turn into the trials and tribulations that made being in a relationship worth it. 3000 years. I’d had my fair share of “relationships”. Dating was something elves did, especially considering that we stayed young forever. The way I understood it, all species did, just not as frequently as elves did. Again, immortality. I found the middle part of the relationship to be the best part. Thorin and I had had the beginning of the relationship extended over several months because of the journey, then put to a screeching halt because of the Arkenstone, and finally started again when he was basically brought back to life. The middle was far overdue and had already been skipped over once.

I let out a heavy sigh and went back to our (Thorin’s) room. I crawled under the covers. I didn’t really sleep like I had intended. It was more like being half asleep, half awake, and unable to find a happy middle. Thorin came to bed late, like I had expected. The motion of him sitting on the bed woke me up fully. It was when I was wrapped in his arms, listening to his heartbeat, that I was able to drift into a healthy, albeit tormented, sleep.

The dream was the same as the first one that I had, the original one. The one with Thorin dying on the ice in my arms while I tried to think of any way to bring him back. As I failed to save him and I turned into someone that I hated. And I relived it again. And again. And again. It never really stopped until I woke up and my subconscious lost control. Even when I was happy, I was still being tormented. I knew it wasn’t the sight. It couldn’t have been because that was in the past and Azog was dead and his body was now just ashes scattered throughout Mirkwood. It wasn’t making any sense. And it was starting to get annoying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Tell a friend, write a comment, leave a kudos, bookmark, subscribe, whatever you feel like doing. Just let me know if you've enjoyed it.


	5. There's a Slight Problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha! Chapter 5, as promised at 3 in the morning! Chapter 6 is done, chapter 7 has two words, and I have 21 hours to write. Okay, more like 13, if I don't do anything else. Which I probably won't. :p

I spent most of my time making the wedding robe. Thorin spent most of his time making sure that we weren’t thrown into another war. Which was fantastic. Although it seemed that we had become rather… boring. Not that that was a bad thing. It was rather nice. A good change of pace. It was just, well, the first time we kissed, I had just saved him from falling to a rather grisly demise and then after said kiss we were thrown into a goblin cave. Where we saved each other from death by Goblin King With a Really Large Neck Beard Thing. The title was a work in progress. Perhaps just the Goblin King. Whatever we called him, Gandalf had killed him, so there wasn’t really a need to worry about him anymore. Or really anything that we used to have to worry about constantly. Like the possibility of an orc pack descending on us in our sleep.

It was nice.

I had said that already.

Maybe I could arrange a hunting trip or a journey to the Shire to see Bilbo. Another, much quicker change of pace. I pushed aside my robe. I would talk about it later with Thorin and Balin. Not that I had to run everything by them. What was I becoming? I shook my head. I just needed to get out of here. Just for a couple of days. I closed my eyes. I would settle for getting out of this room for now. 

I walked through Erebor. It really once one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen. Dwarf craftsmanship…there was nothing like it in this world. At least when it came to buildings and jewellery. I still thought elvish weapons were significantly better. Orcrist had shown that many times. Aduial, my own blade, was a fund representation of dwarf and elf design, with a hilt made by the dwarves and the blade made by my kin, long before the two races started to hate each other. I like to think the alliance ended because elves made too many short jokes. It was just so easy to do when dwarves barely reached our shoulders.

I was just the best, wasn’t I?

I heard Thorin and Fili talking in the throne room. I walked in. Fili certainly looked more the part of royalty. Of course, he hadn’t suffered the same way that Thorin had when we first got to Erebor. It was also his way of forgetting Kili. He had dark circles under his eyes and I knew that he wished I could have saved his brother instead of him. I wished that I could have saved them both. It would have been a much happier time. Of course, Tauriel still would have… no. She wouldn’t have been there. It would have been me. But the times would be much happier for the line of Durin. It would be Kili and Tauriel getting married now. And Thorin would be-

Stop it.

“-attacks have been getting much worse. They’re getting bolder.” Fili said.

“Of course they have. Gandalf warned me this would happen. Well, we’ll have to send a message to them. Take out the whole pack. Scouts, you said?” Thorin stroked his beard thoughtfully.

“Yes.”

“Easy enough, then. Shouldn’t be too-” Thorin turned and saw me, “-hard.”

“Orcs?” I had gotten the warning as well.

“Indeed. They’re attacking the borders.”

“Well then, we have no choice but to stop them.”

“Yes, well, I was thinking about sending out some soldiers.”

“Why send out soldiers when you have some of the greatest warriors right in front of you?”

“Excuse me?” Fili turned and crossed his arms looking up at me.

I smiled. “The three of us. Come on, I know you’re getting bored as well. It would be nice to get out and do something other than, well, sit on a throne. Or next to a throne.”

“I don’t-” Thorin began.

“Come on, Thorin Oakenshield, don’t lie to me. I can see it on your face, you want to go and deal with this just as much as I do. Maybe more?”

He sighed and failed to hide his smile. A good orc hunt was exactly what I needed. 

“All right, you’re right. I have missed the danger. Fili,” Thorin was in a full blown grin, “I think I will go out on this hunt. You can send no one better than yourself.”

Finally. I was going to actually get out of Erebor and Dale. I was very excited. Thorin and I had to get ready to go. I attached Aduial to my belt, right where she belonged. I ran my hand over the blade. I had once compared my two lives, my obligation to the elves and my wish to help Thorin and the others in the company, to standing on two separate banks of a river. That seemed like so long ago, trying to decide between Rivendell and Erebor. Now, I was standing in two worlds, my feet on the banks of a river. To choose one side, I could not even think of. Not choosing was coexisting. It was surviving. I always turned to that train of thought when I looked at Aduial. She was a perfect representation of what my life was becoming. I shook my head and grabbed my bow. Maybe I should have named my bow. It didn’t seem fair to only have one weapon named. And I did favour the bow.

No. It was fine. Bows didn’t need to be named.

Thorin looked exactly like he always did. He had Orcrist on his hilt. He looked more like a king now than he ever had before. I think it was the sword. No. It was definitely the sword. We were ready. Fili had gotten a horse and a pony ready for us to take out to the borders. We decided that it was best not to tell anyone. There was a chance that we could take care of this without having to worry them. That would be the best thing for them. It wasn’t really a problem yet. There were small settlements on the borders, but none had been attacked. They had been warned. They were prepared.

We rode through Dale. There was no time to stop and talk to the people. Thorin and I had to make sure that the orcs hadn’t gotten any farther into our territory. It was almost half a day’s journey, riding at a relatively good pace. I knew that what we were doing was dangerous, but that was what was keeping the smile on my face. War, battles, quests, and adventures… as much as I hated to admit it, I loved them. Well, I didn’t love war, but I did appreciate everything that went into them. So many things had to be put into place for it to work. I hated war: the casualties, the blood, the death, all of it. The last one that I had been a part of had almost cost me the one thing that I can never lose. I had no love for wars.

We reached the reported sight before nightfall. There had definitely been a raid here. If the Warg prints weren’t enough of a tell, then the fires would have been. Thorin used his water to put them out. The fire hadn’t spread. That was good. I held onto the reins of my horse as I looked at the Ward tracks. They were headed toward Erebor. I looked to Thorin. He nodded. We would have to track them. I mounted my horse again and looked to the Lonely Mountain. The air was cold. It was only going to get colder as the night wore on. We needed to wrap this up as quickly as we possibly could. I willed my horse to go faster.

“Slow down, Eril! You’ll wear her down before we get halfway to the pack!” Thorin called.

“They move at night. If we don’t hurry, then we won’t be able catch them at all!” I yelled back.

“I know that. Just be careful.”

“I’m always careful.”

Almost always. Most of the time. A lot of the time. Sometimes? I had no time for this!

Surely we had to be close to the pack by now. We had been chasing them for hours. There was no way they had gotten that far ahead of us, even with their head start. I rubbed the neck of my horse, whispering softly to her in elvish. Thorin kept up with me, leaning forward. Then I saw them. Ahead of us. I pointed to them. Thorin nodded. I veered off to the side while Thorin moved on ahead. Orcrist was shining in the dark. I pulled my bow and notched an arrow. I had a Warg in my sight. Not only was it best to go for the mount, I really hated Wargs. I swore that my leg could predict the weather now. I let the arrow fly. It easily hit it’s target. 

The pack stopped. The orcs looked around. They were met with Thorin, attacking them with great expertise. I let my arrows fly. I was grateful that the orcs had brought torches. I urged my horse towards the danger. I stood on her saddle. Once I was closer to them, I put away my bow and drew Aduial, her sleek blade glowing blue. I jumped off of my horse and landed in the middle of the thrawl next to Thorin. 

“Show off.” He muttered

“I’ve been stuck inside for a month. I deserve to show off a little.” I said in response, hacking at an orc.

It was a relatively short fight, given that there were only six orcs. We left one lone Warg, wounded with my arrows sticking out of its back. I watch as it left. Thorin was looking to Erebor. For a second, I was afraid of what was on his mind. History repeating itself, I was afraid of. No, it wasn’t anything like that. He was watching as our rides raced off to the mountain without us. Fantastic.

“Well, there appears to be a slight problem.” Thorin said.

“I can see that.” I responded. “Well, we can’t walk back to Erebor. Not in the cold that’s about to hit us. Come on, there should be some old caves among these hills that we can take refuge in. Grab one of those torches.”

I started walking to the aforementioned hills. Thorin grumbled something about elves and being in charge. I bit back a smile and covered a chuckle with a cough. I hoped he was prepared for me bossing him around, because I found it to be quite relaxing and very entertaining.

I found a cave not too far away. Thorin had grabbed one of torches like I had asked. It lit up the cave walls. We had stayed in worse places. It would be enough to keep the cold winds from buffeting us, and we would be able to build a fire. Thorin got on the fire building aspect. He gathered the torches that had been scattered around the orc bodies. Those were good enough to make the fire last the night. I gathered myself closely. I thought it had been bad before at Erebor. How had I not noticed before? It must have been the cloak I had or something. Whatever it was, it was freezing cold now. Thorin chuckled.

“What?” I said irritably.

“Nothing. It’s just… you look adorable.”

“Well, I would thank you if I wasn’t so damn cold.”

“Take my cloak. Dwarves are used to the cold.”

“Finally, something you’re good for.”

“I’m going to let that slide because I know you’re very angry and cold. I won’t hold it against you.”

I muttered in Sindarin. He dropped his cloak over my shoulders. It fit surprisingly well. When we were sitting, we were nearly the same height. I moved to my usual position with my head against his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fdkjshjkfavnjfkansmutinchapter6bepreparedngjfsknabjfks


	6. **In a Cave. Again.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not posting an update at school. I would never do that when I'm supposed to be writing a very important research paper about body image. Never. Why would you think that? *nervous laughter* Well, I'm going to get back to that paper and totally _not_ continue chapter 7. To post tomorrow during school when I should be writing. Because that's insane, guys. haha.

Thorin made sure that the fire didn’t die down.

“This night reminds me of another.” He said suddenly. 

“You mean before or after you fell into a goblin pit and Gandalf and I saved your life?”

It was my second time saving his life that day.

“Before. Before you stormed off.”

“I did not storm off. I simply walked outside to get some air.”

“Because it was such an amazing kiss.”

“No, because I had just kissed a dwarf and the musk from your beard made it hard to breathe. But it’s still a great beard.” I added quickly, not wanting a repeat of the “zarb” situation. “I’ve gotten used to it.”

“Would you like a repeat of that night, then? Just to see why you really had to leave the cave?”

I was marrying an a cheeky bastard. He was an accurate cheeky bastard, but a cheeky bastard nonetheless. 

“Are you offering? Because we’d have to send for some extra dwarves.”

“I think just the two of us would be fine.”

He leaned down towards me. I rested my hand on his cheek. Thorin’s lips met mine. I let out a contented sigh. He wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me into his lap. This was a very similar position to that first night. He kept his hand on my back, holding me close to him. I closed my eyes. Thorin pulled away first and rested his forehead against mine.

“You’re not running.” He smiled.

“Why would I want to run? I have everything that I want right here.” I kissed him. 

Thorin, with one hand on my hip and the other on my back, moved me so my back was against the cave floor. He had a wolfish smirk on his face. Had I said that his smirk didn’t suit his beard? How wrong had I been. It was ridiculous how handsome he looked now. Maybe I just had a soft spot for this position. His hair cascading over me. His eyes searching over me hungrily. I could see the hunger in his eyes. I was certain that it was reflected in my own. His lips met mine with that hunger. He reached under my tunic and grabbed my breast. I lifted my back as he pulled my tunic off. At least he made sure it didn’t land in the fire. That would have been an awkward thing to explain away. 

He untied the front of my trousers and pulled them over my legs at an agonisingly slow pace. Clothes were very, very annoying. He left a trail of kisses down my stomach, stopping just before my navel. He grabbed my underwear with his teeth. What were his hands doing? He pulled them over my knees and kissed up my inner thigh. I grabbed his hair as he licked across my folds. I let out a loud moan. No one could hear us out here. Not that it mattered either way.

He moved his tongue up to my clit. I let out a frustrated groan. He grinned. I could feel a familiar pressure. He plunged a finger inside of me and starting pumping slowly. I pulled on his hair. He took that as add another finger and move even slower. Each motion shot through my head and to my feet and back again and it was _fantastic_. He started moving faster. I could feel myself starting to lose it. I took a deep breath that turned into frantic panting and moaning. I let out a sort of scream as I let go.

“ _Amrâlimê_...” I said quietly, using his own language. “ _Meleth-nin, nae saian luume_ '.”

“You stole my pet name.” Thorin said, looking up and moving forward.

“You have several others.”

“You mean like _lansel_ ,” he kissed my navel, “or _‘ibin abnâmul_ ,” Thorin moved farther up, “ _madtubirzul_.” He had made his way to my neck. “No, I know. _ghivashel_ is more of your taste, isn’t it?”

“You’re an ass. _Amrâlimê_ is my favourite.”

“You haven’t given me any options.”

“You wouldn’t understand my options.”

“Translate them.”

“Fine, Thorin Oakenshield. _Meleth-nin, gi melethig,_ ” I pulled off his outer layers of clothing. I certainly wasn’t cold anymore, “ _hîr vuin_ ,” he helped me pull off his shirt, “ _meleth e-guilen_ ,” his trousers were next to go to our pile of discarded attire, “ _maelir_. Just so you know before hand, I think that the last one applies best to you.”

“Translate?” He asked, kissing my neck.

It would be best not to be distracted now. I didn’t want to translate something wrong.

“In order? You are my love, beloved lord, love of my life, and, as I said my personal favourite, lusty one.”

He let out a hearty laugh. “That does seem to fit us very well.”

I took his distraction as a time to turn the positions around. I leaned down and kissed him. I slowly lowered myself onto him. I dragged my nails across his chest. He grabbed my hips. He helped me lift and practically slam back onto him. I threw my head back. He met my thrusts with his own. I groaned. I think I broke skin on his chest. He didn’t seem to mind too much. I arched my back. I was losing my strength. He flipped us over when he noticed.

“Thorin…” was about all that I could manage to get out.

“ _Azrali_.” He whispered into my ear.

“Then why don’t you prove it?”

He growled and put my leg over his shoulder. We locked eyes. I had seen that look in his eyes before. When he was on a hunt. When we left today for the orc pack. It was the look that he had when he was ready to attack his prey - to kill. As such, he practically slammed inside, making my eyes shoot open. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine. That wolfish smirk was back. We kissed briefly. He started thrusting, hard and fast.

I moved my leg from his shoulder and wrapped it around his waist. I threw my head back, not bothering to bite back my moans. He was really the only one who knew me like this. He wasn’t exactly being silent himself. He buried his face in my neck. He muttered something sloppily in Khuzdul. Not even I could understand it. He moved his thumb to my clit, moving in circles. I arched my back again. I was close again. I was surprised that I had lasted this long again, given my sensitivity from the first time. My second orgasm tore through me. Thorin soon followed, falling over me and kissing my cheek. He rolled over. I rested my head on his chest.

I took deep breaths. Thorin pulled his cloak over us. 

“I must ask, are you still cold?” He asked.

“No. Thanks for keeping me warm.”

“The feeling is mutual, I assure you, _my lady_.”

“You stole my patronising tone.”

“You stole my pet name.”

“I’m going to sleep now. We can argue more in the morning.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

“I’d expect nothing less.” I closed my eyes. “I love you, dwarf.”

“I love you, too, elf.”

And I would never stop loving him until the day I died, whenever that was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay translations! I also figured out how HTML works so I no longer hate it! Yeah! Happy fun times!
> 
> **Elvish**
> 
>  _Meleth-nin, nae saian luume_ \-- My love, it has been far too long (can also be My love, my heart sings to see you)
> 
>  _gi melethig,_ \-- you are my love
> 
>  _hîr vuin_ \-- beloved lord
> 
>  _meleth e-guilen_ \-- love of my life
> 
>  _maelir_. -- lusty one (i thought that was funny. You know, that Tolkien has that in his language. Though I shouldn't really be surprised. Just wait till you see what he has in Khuzdul)
> 
> **Khuzdul**
> 
> _lansel_ \-- love of all loves
> 
>  _‘ibin abnâmul_ \-- beautiful gem
> 
>  _madtubirzul_ \-- golden heart
> 
>  _ghivashel_ \-- treasure of treasures
> 
>  _Azrali_. -- I want you (or, if you're more one for cursing, I want to fuck you. Yeah. Tolkien has a translation for that. You're welcome.)


	7. Lady Dis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might not be an update tomorrow... I have a radio show on Wednesdays so I have to do that and I usually write during the breaks, but you know. I can't always be writing. I might accidentally say something that I don't mean to. Anyway... enjoy chapter 7 :)

That night in the cave was the first dreamless sleep that I had had in weeks. I actually felt well rested. I pushed myself up. Thorin was already dressed and looking outside. I stood, holding his cloak against me. I got dressed myself and walked to Thorin.

“What are you looking at? Please tell me that there aren’t more orcs outside.” I said as I pulled on Aduial.

“Your horse came back.” He said.

“Well, that’s a little less walking we have to do.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you didn’t really want to _walk_ back to Erebor, did you?”

“There’s only one mount.”

“Yes.”

He looked outside then to me. Then back outside again. I smirked. He started shaking his head.

“No. I know that look.”

“Come on, Thorin. We’re not walking back to Erebor that will take us another day.”

And we didn’t. We got on the horse together, Thorin sitting in front of me. It was oddly adorable. He hated it. He hated riding horses. He hated that his pony didn’t come back. I know all of this because he complained about it the whole way. And he insisted on taking back roads and staying out of the eye of the public. I agreed. This would stay between us. No matter how funny it was. It would just have to be one of those memories that I turned back to when I was angry with him. I could live with that.

When we started to approach Dale, we got off the horse and sent her running back in that general direction. It was the best decision to spare our dear king humiliation. We walked back through the town. The people stopped to greet them. We stopped to say hello this time. The people really did love Thorin. And why wouldn’t they? He had lead them back to Erebor and reclaimed their home. He had songs written about him. The rest of us were mentioned, but Thorin was the hero of the story, no matter how much he denied it. He was to the rest of us. 

I didn’t tell him that often. He had quite an ego problem already. He didn’t need me to tell him how great he was. 

We made our way through the small crowd that had gathered and got back to the palace. Thorin and I walked to the throne room. While we were gone, Fili, being an heir of Durin, was in charge. He stood as we walked in.

“So? The pack?” He asked.

“Dealt with. Make sure that our patrols are careful. Warg bites a rather nasty and I don’t particularly enjoy mending them.” Thorin responded.

“Of course, Uncle. I’ll warn the troops right away.”

“Thank you, Fili.” Thorin put his hand on his nephew’s shoulder. “But I can do that. Go home, Fili. You’ve been spending far too much time here.”

“You’re sending me away?”

“Your mother is worried about you. If not for yourself, then for her.”

Fili nodded. Thorin gave him an encouraging smile and continued walking. Fili gave me a slight bow and left the throne room. Thorin leaned against the arm of the throne. He was looking up where the Arkenstone used to rest. I stayed a few paces back. I generally did when I was around anything revolving around the Arkenstone. The look in his eyes when he thought I had betrayed him for Thranduil had never really left. I was glad that the stone was far, far away, unable to pull us in. Still. Thorin shook his head and smiled at me. His eyes were normal. As long as I was sure of that, I was sure that this was _my_ Thorin. 

Thorin and I went our separate ways. It wasn’t out of choice, really. If we had it our way, we would never leave each other’s sides. It was highly improper, unfortunately. And we were constantly in the public’s eyes. Besides, I had to make the wedding robe. It was very important in dwarvish tradition. Honestly, the whole ceremony was for Thorin’s sake. It was much more intimate with elves. In a private room, we repeated the blessings of Eru. It was one of the very few times that we said his name. Then, we consummated the marriage. If we had the time, basically meaning if we weren’t at war, there would be a great feast. That was a common occurrence. Dwarves were much more… specific. There was a time where the entire bride’s family would move from her old house to the new one her husband had built. I was very grateful that my family consisted of me. And that I already lived in Erebor.

My robe, so far, was floor length with longer sleeves that clung to my upper arms and widened near the sleeves. I was having trouble actually encrusting the jewels into the bodice. I was an archer, not a tailor, dammit. I was very close to banging my head against a stone wall. I had quite a few to choose from. I walked to my room. My actual room, where the still unfinished robe was sitting on a desk. I wished that I had had a robe already made, like I knew many dwarf brides did. They used their mothers. I would have asked for one, but I was far too tall and it would be much harder to add fabric to the bottom of a robe. I was beginning to thoroughly hate this tradition. I held the robe close to me. It was at least made of elvish fabric. It was the smoothest fabric I had ever touched. 

Maybe that was why it was so hard to get the bloody jewels to stay in place.

Huh.

There was a knock at the door. I moved the robe to the bed and answered. I was a little surprised to see Dis standing there. 

Dis looked very much like her older brother, Frerin. Of course, I had only seen drawings of Frerin. She had dirty blonde hair like her son. Her beard stretched down her cheeks. She was wearing a dark green dress that suited her well and brought out the green of her eyes. In terms of her resemblance to Thorin, she had the shape of his eyes and his proud stance. She was much shorter than Thorin was. Most dwarves were, I had noticed. He was tall, for a dwarf.

I was getting a serious feeling of deja vu here. Anyway.

Dis looked at my unfinished robe.

“Having some trouble?” she asked.

“I have no idea how you had the patience to complete this bloody robe, I swear. It’s driving me insane.” I sighed.

“Well, I just used-”

“I swear, if you say your mother’s…”

“Well,” she chuckled, “it’s true! I got married over 100 years after she did. It’s tradition.”

“Yes, yes, tradition, I know. I just wish that there weren’t so many. I’ve never really been one for sitting in for hours.”

“I know. Thorin told me about how restless you can be.”

“He did? Of course he did.”

“I must say, I have never seen him this happy before. He does appreciate the effort you’re making.”

“Well, if we’re going to make whatever this is work, this is the way to do it. Your weddings are just so damn extensive.” I picked up the robe and struggled to put another jewel on. “Oh for fu- you know what? I am very close to giving up.”

“Don’t despair, Eril. Let me help. Dwarves are very handy.”

She wasn’t wrong. Dis showed me how to properly put the jewels onto my gown. Dis and I got along very well. I considered her to be one of my friends here at Erebor. Of course, I got along far better with Fili. There was just something about almost dying together that created a bond between people. 

Dis and I worked and talked and laughed. She, like her brother, was very easy to talk to. The children of Thrain were relatively entertaining. At least, I could get along with them. Mind you, I spent over a year living and fighting with thirteen dwarves and a hobbit who very often complained about elevensies. Seriously. If I told you about the first month of travelling with Bilbo Baggins, you would not believe it. He was such a different person now. Of course, now I only spoke with him through letters that arrived by thrush. It was for old times sake. I also alternated between a raven, just to give the poor thrush a break.

Dis and I swapped some stories about Thorin, mainly the ones that we found funny and he probably found humiliating. I liked talking to her. As much as I loved the company, it was nice to talk to someone that I didn’t know. I enjoyed getting to know people. It was something I never really had the chance to do, living as long as I had. All the friends that I had outside of the company, not that they were really my friends after I was banished, had been my friends since I was an elfling. I never met anyone new, not really. The world of dwarves was new to me. I was constantly meeting new people now, and I rarely got to speak to them like I did with Dis. 

Thorin came in while Dis and I were working.

“Well, I must say as nice as it is to see the two of you getting along, I am worried about the stories you might tell.” Thorin joked.

“I promise I only told Dis about the one time you fell off your pony while travelling back here.” I responded.

He looked upset.

“And I only told Eril about the time you fell into the river while trying to catch a fish.” Dis grinned.

He now looked horrified.

I wanted the story now. I would have to ask Dis later. 

He insisted that we take a walk together. I think he was just trying to get me away from Dis, just in case she really told me some real stories about him as a kid. I had heard a few, but I was curious to hear more… I said goodnight to Dis. She put the wedding robe, now significantly better than it had been, back in the desk. Thorin and I walked out of the room and to the garden Erebor opened into.


	8. A Walk in the Park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg it's a literal walk in the park! And I am actually updating today! And I'm starting chapter 9! Which may or may not be a smut chapter! I haven't decided yet. Yay.

It really was beautiful out here. The air was crisp and the sky was clear. The moon was raised high. It looked an awful lot like the moon that we had seen when Elrond was translating the map for us, just better now. Since Thorin and I had started our, well, relationship, everything had been much clearer; colours were more vibrant, sounds were clearer, and everything just made more sense than it ever did before. I was told that that was something that happened when you were in love. I had never really thought that love was something on the table for me. Thranduil had kept me constantly busy, whether it was for a diplomatic meeting away from Mirkwood or a battle that he didn’t want to fight for himself. I was really lucky to be here for Thorin. I didn’t take that for granted.

The gardens were one of the best parts of Erebor. Thror’s wife had insisted they be added when she was pregnant with Thrain. She had loved the smell of tulips. Back then, Thror would have done anything to make his family happy, even spend all the gold that it took to build this place. There were great trees, hundreds of years old. The flowers were beautiful and the vines reached up over the stone walls that enclosed us in. There was a break in the wall that lead to a balcony. There was a tree in the centre there. It was the oldest of them all, and thus the most beautiful. It was a great oak, reaching high into the sky and extended over the balcony. I thought that was a little dangerous. The balcony extended over a waterfall. There seemed to be a lot of those extending over Erebor. 

I walked to the edge and looked over. There were chunks of ice falling over the edge. Thorin stood next to me. I leaned on the balcony.

“Why’d you take me here, Thorin?” I asked, looking to him.

“It’s another place to be alone. I thought you would like it here. It might remind you of home.” Thorin shrugged. “I know that it wasn’t easy for you to leave Mirkwood, either time. This was the closest I could get.”

He slid a small tree in a pot over. It was definitely a tree from Mirkwood. I could tell. It was just the way that it felt.

“Where did you get this?” I smiled, gently touching one of the small leaves.

“Bard got it for me. As an early, very early, wedding present. There’s a place picked out for it, as well as a place for you to read your books, write to Bilbo, whatever it is you feel like doing.”

“That’s very sweet, Thorin. Thank you.”

I sat down on the small bench, leaving the tree on the railing. Thorin continued to look over the side. He looked regal. I pulled a piece of parchment from my pocket and carefully unfolded it. I had some charcoal in my pocket. I always kept paper and something to write with, for whatever may happen. Now, it was that Thorin was in the perfect light and I wanted to remember this moment. He closed his eyes and had a faint smile playing across his lips. I wasn’t particularly good at drawing, but I was able to make something that resembled Thorin. I looked at what I had started. It wasn’t my best, but it wasn’t my worst. Thorin looked at me and smiled.

“What are you doing over there?” He asked with a small laugh.

“Stand still, Thorin. I’m trying to capture your likeness.” I responded, not really looking up except to get his eye right. It was a profile drawing. 

Thorin shook his head, messing up the position of his hair. Whatever. It would be fine. 

“I might be done. Maybe.”

“Let me see.”

“Absolutely not.”

“It’s a drawing of me.”

“Yes. And that’s not really important, is it? Because I drew it. Not you. So no.”

“I’m your husband to be, so we’re supposed to be sharing things.”

“I’m your wife to be. You’re supposed to let me have my secrets.”

The conversation went on like that for far too long. Far, far too long. I was very surprised at how long we could talk about nothing. Eventually, I did show him the drawing. I always intended to. He loved it. I had to follow him to another room as he searched for… something. He wouldn’t tell me what. I wasn’t entirely sure that he wasn’t drunk on something. Dwarves usually were. 

It turned out that he had been looking for a frame. He put the picture inside and hung it on the wall of our (his) room. He crossed his arms and looked at the picture.

“One of the greatest masterpieces in this palace.” He said. “Is there anything that you can’t do?”

“Make a wedding robe, apparently.”

He chuckled. “Other than that.”

“Gee, thanks, Thorin. You’re faith is ever unwavering.”

“That wasn’t sarcastic.”

“Well, you’re faith in me, once you actually had some, had never wavered. At least, not to my knowledge. I can’t say the same, unfortunately.”

“I’ve given you several reasons to doubt me.”

“But I shouldn’t have. And I’m sorry about that. I just… lost you for a moment.”

“Eril Trahandiel, I promise that I will always come back to you. You’d never be able to keep me away.”

“And why would I want to keep you away?” I kissed him. “I have you right where I want you.”

He started laughing. His laugh seemed to be infectious, as soon, I was laughing as well. This was how I had always imagined my life would be. After all of the meetings. I wasn’t one of those elves that constantly thought about my wedding. I mean, every once and awhile I did. Who didn’t? When you lived forever, happily ever after seemed very far away. It was easy to fantasize. Reality was much better. Thorin kissed me again. He was possessive. He always had been, like he thought that he might lose me otherwise. It made my head spin faster than the best ale. No one else had ever or would ever kiss me like this, with the perfect balance between a lover and a king.

I stepped away. “Thank you, Thorin. You have again found the perfect way to end the day.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

“I’m sure it is.”

Thorin smiled. We stayed up talking for a while longer. What else was there to do? We weren’t tired but all of Thorin’s kingly duties were surprisingly finished. He may have been putting some things off. I hoped he wasn’t. That was highly irresponsible of him.

It had been more than once that what we referred to as “King Thorin” had been brought up. I still believed that the way a person embraced their actions spoke more to their character than the action itself. I always would, I firmly believed that. It was just different when it was someone that I loved. I had seen another side of Thorin. Just like I had my compassionate side, the side that I tried to show more often than not, I still had the much, much darker part of myself. The part that had worked for Thranduil for so many years, never questioning, never wavering. Thorin still had the ability to become that dark individual. I think I was more afraid of that than he was. 

Hm. I really had to stop these doubting trains of thought. 

It was like I was trying to come up with an excuse not to go through with this. I wondered what that said about me?

Hm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still haven't decided yet. You'll know if there are asterisks in the chapter title. Sorry that the chapter was kind of short! I'll try to make them longer, but I've always kind of written shorter chapters. Hmmmmmm. Maybe I'll add more chapters to make up for it. Yeah, I'll do that.


	9. **Let's Consider it Practice**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey would you look at that another chapter with smut? Why? Well, you'll have to read. And then I've got plans. Plans that reach to chapter 12. I mean, they aren't written yet, but oh well.

I changed out of my day clothes and into a night dress. I sat on the edge of the bed. It was so strange to think that I had once lived without him. His presence was a part of me. I couldn’t really get a clear picture of a time before him or a time coming that wouldn’t. It had now been two years since our first meeting. Even then, we hadn’t gotten along. It had always seemed like it was more than that, however. The bond between us now had been present, although it was weak at first. Maybe it had just been focused on disliking each other. We had gotten in a lot of fights before the fighting turned into what it is now. I could confidently say that I was glad to not be the person I had been before, to a certain degree. I was better the way that I was now. I was more caring because of Thorin.

I liked to think that I had had a similar effect on him. He certainly seemed different. He smiled more. That was good.

I sat on the edge of the bed. Thorin sat behind me and gently touched my shoulders. His hands were surprisingly warm, given our surroundings. He reached under the collar of my gown and started to knead away the stress of the day, not that it had been that stressful. I wasn’t complaining, either way.

When he decided that my neck had been sufficiently massaged, he moved to my back, putting his hands under my dress and lifting it over my head to get a better position. He kissed my neck softly as I leaned back into him. Thorin moved his hands forward to my chest, gently tweaking my nipples. I moaned lightly. It wasn’t long before I felt his member pressed against my back. I turned around so I was facing him, pulling my legs to wrap loosely around him.

“We seem to be doing this far more often.” I commented. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Let’s consider it practice for when we’re actually married.”

“Of course you would say that.” I chuckled.

“Of course you would laugh at that.” Thorin countered.

The corners of his lips were turned into a smile. I myself was struggling to keep a straight face. I kissed him, smiling into his lips. His beard rubbed pleasantly against my smooth skin. Holding onto my sides so as not to break the kiss, he pushed me onto my back. He moved to my neck, sucking and biting to try and make me squirm under his touch. I knew this game all too well and I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. Not tonight. I felt Thorin smiling against my skin. His hand slid down to rest between my legs, gently caressing my inner thigh. I raised my eyebrow at him. He smirked.

“Enjoying yourself, _my king_?” I asked, pulling him a little closer.

“Only as much as you are, _elf_.” He countered.

His hand plunged down into my slit, thrusting his fingers inside of me. They curled and hit that one spot, that perfect spot. Still, I refused to give him what he wanted. I tried to keep my breathing light and bite back the moans that were building. 

“Something you wish to say? Or perhaps not say?” Thorin whispered into my ear.

“No…” I breathed.

“Are you sure?” He asked again, using his other hand to knead one of my breasts.

I was having a hard time not reacting. Eventually, I gave up. I let out a very pent up and loud moan. Thorin smiled. I grabbed at the sheets. I trailed my hand down his stomach and grabbed his manhood. It was his turn to be a little tortured, wasn’t it? I stroked him slowly. He sucked in a breath.

“Eril…”

I was getting a strong sense of deja vu again.

He kissed me, hard enough that it hurt. I moved my hands to his hair. He pushed my legs apart forcefully and slowly entered me. He let out a short list of curses in Khuzdul, closing his eyes. I groaned as he continued to rub circles around my clit while sliding farther inside. He cupped the side of my cheek, gently stroking it with his thumb. He whispered a few terms of endearment and started to thrust. I wrapped my legs around his waist to bring him closer to me. Thorin knew me far too well.

He moved so quickly and he just fit so well. I clawed at the sheets, his back, pulling at his hair. He picked up my hips so he could hit me farther. Thorin heard the sounds I was making. They signalled him that I was close. Soon, the room was filled with ragged panting and moaning from both of us as we came. Thorin laid next to me. As always, he pulled me next to him possessively. 

“Well, I think this has been some very productive practice. We might actually be ready for the real day.” Thorin joked.

“ _Oh just shut up_.” 

I did get him to shut up with a kiss.

We had something so special. It was unlike anything else that had ever been described or written about or talked about. It was like adrenaline was always running through my veins. It was a constant high. It was something that would last forever, and never appear again. I could feel all of that in my heart. I could see it every time that I looked at Thorin. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little scared of it. The more in love I fell with Thorin, the more it would hurt when he inevitably…

I always came back to that single train of thought. But it was something I was willing to go through. In those times, I would have the memories of these times to look back on. I rested my head against Thorin’s chest and listened to his heart as I drifted off to sleep. Off towards another nightmare.

There was something about that cave that had made the bad dreams go away. I couldn’t explain it. Still, I knew that I still had Thorin. Azog was gone, Thorin was his old self, nothing could be as bad as these nightmares. I wouldn’t let it be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Thorin and Eril are totally in love. :D


	10. To Give My Blessings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much elvish in this chapter... may or may not be an update tomorrow, as usual. So far I've managed to stick to one a day. i think I can keep up with that. :p let's find out. I have to leave soon so I'll add the translations tomorrow. Or you can copy and past them into the search bar. you'll get it then in the meantime. UPDATE: THERE ARE TRANSLATIONS NOW!!!

I woke up and Thorin was gone. There was not even a trace of him. I took my time getting ready, wondering where he could be but not worrying about. He was 196 years old, after all. He was surely able to take care of himself. I combed through my hair and carefully re-braided it. I was only a little jealous that Thorin was much better at this than I was. I was also a little concerned that he cared so much about his hair. Moving on. I changed into my usual leather and cloth outfit. As I was lacing up my boots, I saw Balin walk hurriedly past the door. He looked a little worried. Oh no. What had they done now? I walked out of the room and started grumbling about dwarves and kingdoms and other such things.

I headed towards the throne room. That was most likely where Thorin was now. Maybe he could explain what was going on and why everyone was hurrying about like a dragon was coming.

Oh god. Was there another dragon coming?

No. I would’ve heard the bloody thing miles from here. So what was going on?

“Thorin,” I began as I walked into the dark stone room, “what’s got-”

I stopped walking immediately. Oh. Oh no. This was much, much worse than a dragon. 

Thranduil was standing in the centre of the room with an entourage of elves behind him. 

He looked exactly the same. He always did, there was no surprise for me there. Thorin and Thranduil were in some kind of a stand off. Neither of them were talking or moving. They were just staring dramatically at each other. I was stuck in a perpetual mid step as I tried to figure out what to say. Or how to react. Or how to do anything, really. Why was Thranduil here? What could he possibly want with us? We had given him the jewels he had wished for in hopes he would never have to return. I don’t think a single dwarf with in Erebor could stand him. I was certain that none of the elves with Thranduil could stand dwarves. This wasn’t going to end well.

“Ah, _Lady_ Eril.” Thorin said, with extra emphasis on the ‘lady’. “I was just going to send for you.”

“We were expecting you, Thranduil.” I said, finally able to speak again.

“Yes, well, news of your engagement has reached my ears. I came to give my blessing of the union.” Thranduil said calmly.

“What?” Thorin and I said in unison.

In all of my life, I had never once seen Thranduil look kindly on the dwarves. In fact, he had turned away from them in their time of need. To think that he would agree to a union such as this was completely unthinkable. Unfathomable. It just simply wasn’t possible. There had to be something else going on here. 

“I see that this union could be the beginning of a new alliance between our species. A long lasting peace that we have long since lost.”

He sounded like Elrond. Thranduil must have received a visit from the older elf. That was the only possible explanation. Despite their different views, Thranduil still held Elrond with the highest respects. It was more plausible than Thranduil coming here of his own volition. Though maybe he had changed.

“We don’t need the blessing of those that would abandon us.” Thorin kept his face still.

Thorin clearly had not.

“It would go a long way for the people to see that we have no qualms with the marriage, Thorin Oakenshield. They would take it as a reminder of the days of old, something they could use now.”

“And what would you know of what they now need? You care only for the lives of your kind. You hardly leave Mirkwood.”

“And you hardly leave Erebor. There are things happening in the world that we cannot explain anymore. We simply can’t afford to be at each other’s throats anymore. Surely even you can see that?”

I could see that a fight would soon start between the two of them. I sighed and stepped between them.

“That’s enough of that, from you both.” I began. “Honestly, there’s enough pride between the two of you to fill the halls of both of your kingdoms. Thranduil,” I turned to the elven king, “we thank you for your blessing. You are correct in that it will go a long way with the people, as they will see that it is a united front. Thorin,” I took his hand, “you have to see that there are more things at stake than Thranduil. The sooner that we accept his blessing the sooner he will leave.” I added quietly.

“Forgive us, my lady.” A very old, very familiar voice said to me. “We did not mean to cause any trouble.”

“Lucien. I never thought that you did.” I responded.

Lucien was around the same height as Thranduil, with the same light blonde hair and green eyes. He had handsome features as most elves did, high cheekbones and a perpetually disappointed look on his face. Lucien looked around Erebor. It took me a second to realise he had begun was locking eyes with me. Thorin shifted uncomfortably. I knew that look. I rested my hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

“ _Ci bain sui i Anor. Cornamin lindua ele lle, meleth-nin_ ”

Thorin stiffened. It was true that he only knew one word out of that sentence, but it was the one word that he never wanted to hear uttered about me unless it came from him. 

“ _Man cerig, Lucien?_ ” I asked. “That’s a highly inappropriate comment to make.”

“I was simply making an observation, my lady Eril.”

“Make sure it stays that way, Lucien.” I responded, getting closer to Thorin.

Lucien nodded.

“Perhaps it would be best if Thorin and I continued this conversation in private. Eril, you could show my, erm, _our_ brethren around the halls of Erebor.” Thranduil suggested. 

“I don’t think-” Thorin began.

If he finished that sentence, he had a very strong chance of starting a war. We didn’t need another one on our hands. Thranduil had hinted at something much bigger than us headed this way. I wasn’t looking forward to finding out what that was. Still. There was no point in going to war with them now. I could only imagine the effect it would have on our engagement. The people would insist I was a spy.

“Thorin, _hîr vuin_ , I believe it would be best if you and Thranduil had a private discussion.” I said quickly.

“Yes, the lady and I will be fine on our own.” Lucien added.

Did he know how much he was _not helping?_

“Eril, may I speak with you privately for a moment?” Thorin asked.

Well, I say asked, but it was more of an order as he grabbed my arm and practically dragged me away from them. I heard Thranduil sigh heavily. I could have just punched him right then and there, but I had to focus on Thorin at the moment. I only had the mental strength to deal with one of them.

“What is it, Thorin?” I asked.

“That elf. The one that called you-”

“It’s nothing, Thorin. You needn’t worry. I can be trusted.”

“It’s not you I don’t trust. I don’t trust him alone with you.”

“Thorin, _meleth-nin,_ you don’t have to worry. Just do your best to make peace with Thranduil. Try not to start another war. That’s the last thing that we need right now.” He still looked skeptical. “ _An ngell nîn_ , Thorin.”

He sighed heavily. “Fine. But I don’t have to like it. Half an hour, then you come straight back here, understood?”

“Of course, Thorin. Relax, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

On his end, at least. Just to really let Lucien know that I would have none of his nonsense, I leaned down and kissed Thorin. Thranduil physically winced. That made it three times better than it already was. I walked over to Lucien. There were a couple other elves whose names I didn’t know. Lucien looped his arm through mine. He had a smug smile on his face. I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like he was getting anything from me. Then I saw Thorin. He was watching us intently with a scowl on his face. I smiled reassuringly. It probably would have worked if I hadn’t had Lucien’s arm in my own. Whatever. I led them away from the throne room. 

I was a dutiful tour guide. When we were out of sight of Thorin, Lucien took his arm away from mine but stayed much too close for my tastes. Still, I had to remain calm and not yell at him for his behaviour in the throne room. Instead, I made sure to gesture to things with my right hand. It was my hope that the engagement ring resting on my index finger would remind him just why he was really here. Why I was here and why I was going to stay. All of that was hopefully reaching him.

“Well, I think that the others will be able to survive on their own from here.” Lucien made a gesture and they all left. Since when had he had that kind of pull over them? Was he the new me? Well, it would make sense. He was just as qualified for the job as I had been… 

I shook my head. It didn’t matter. 

“Are you not going to join them?” I asked.

“I’d much rather stay with you, _meleth-nin_.”

“Don’t call me that, Lucien.”

“Since when have you been so cold towards me?”

“It’s been like this between us for over a century, Lucien. You know that.”

“There was a time when it wasn’t.”

“Yes, and times change.”

I did not like where this was going, not one bit. Maybe Thorin had been right to want me to stay with him. I knew how to handle myself against Lucien. I would be fine on my own, I was certain.

“Well, I do believe that it’s time for us to return to Thorin and Thranduil. They are surely finished talking by now.” I said, looking outside.

“You seem a bit nervous, Eril.”

I made no response. Instead I started to walk away from him. He grabbed my arm. It kind of hurt. That simply wouldn’t do. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him around, quite easily able to knock him to the ground. I kept my knee on his chest.

“Don’t touch me again, Lucien.” 

I stood and started walking away again. I entered the throne room first. Thorin looked angry. Much more like he did when I first met him. Thranduil had that effect on people. I returned to my place by Thorin’s side. Lucien walked in, straightening his shirt. Thorin saw the bruises forming on his exposed skin. I had to kick him to keep him from laughing.

“Thank you for visiting, Thranduil.” Thorin said, managing to hide his chuckle. “I hope that we continue to be amicable into the future.”

Thranduil bowed and walked away. Lucien sent one last look to me. Thorin held onto my waist possessively. Finally, they were gone. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle frequent visits from those two. I couldn’t handle half an hour. I would be a fantastic queen, clearly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Translations** _
> 
> _Ci bain sui i Anor. Cornamin lindua ele lle, meleth-nin_ \-- You are as beautiful as the sun. My heart sings to see you, my love
> 
> _Man cerig?_ \-- What are you doing?
> 
> _hîr vuin_ \-- my lord/my beloved lord
> 
> _An ngell nîn_ \-- please
> 
> It's a little bit longer than usual fuck yeah!


	11. **A Conversation I'd Rather Not Have**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha. Constant smut. I should've tagged that sooner. Some plot as well. Jealous Thorin _and_ jealous Eril. Who knew that Eril was jealous? Well, I guess I did. Did I? I have no idea. hmmmmmmm

Thorin wasn’t really talking to me. I knew exactly why. He was upset about Lucien and what he had said to me. It was completely understandable. I was rather upset about it myself. So, as we got ready for the night, it was silent. It was unbearably so. I had never liked silence.

“Thorin, you do have to talk to me eventually.” I sighed.

He let out an even heavier sigh than I did, if that was even possible. “I’m sorry, Eril. I’m just, well, I never thought I would actually meet any of your past, erm, lovers.”

“Yes, well, I am 3,655, Thorin. It makes sense, doesn’t it?”

“Who wants to think about their partner’s previous relationships?”

“Surely you’ve had your fair share. You’re not exactly young.”

“Well, I’ve had one or two…”

“Lies. Come on, Thorin. The truth now.”

“Quid pro quo, darling. A story for a story.”

“Oh, you can’t be serious?”

“Deadly. First kiss?”

He clearly wasn’t going to let this go. His arms were crossed and he was staring at me. I sighed. The sigh could have lasted years because of how much I _didn’t want to do this,_ but it was clear that he wasn’t going to let this go.

“Fine. Fine, if it will get you to not be like whatever you are right now.” I thought back. My first kiss had been so long ago. “I was starting my training with Thranduil. There was another young elf there, named Frin. We went on a walk through Mirkwood, before it was what it is now, during one of our many festivals. We kissed. It was just a small kiss. Frin was much younger than I was.”

“You kissed a younger man?”

“First of all, you do realise that there’s over a thousand years of difference between us, and second of all, who said anything about a man?” He looked at me in shock. “All right, your turn.”

“I don’t think I can top that first kiss.”

“I’m not expecting you to. Quid pro quo, _darling_.”

I really didn’t _want_ to know, but it was only fair.

“There was a young noble visiting from the Iron Hills. She was a guest of Dain’s father. After a cup, or five, of ale, I kissed her.”

“Well, knowing you after ale that must have also been the first-”

“Actually, she slapped me. It turned out she was engaged. Still, at the time, I didn’t care.”

I closed my eyes. That was not a pleasant thought. I knew that this would be a bad idea. Thorin kissed me. I was having a bad thoughts. I didn’t like this feeling. Was this what Thorin felt when he saw Lucien? Or when Alfrid had commented on my appearance while he was in the fish barrel? 

“Of course, that was years ago. I’ve found someone much more enjoyable to be kissing.”

“Well, did she kiss you back?”

He chuckled. “Think about who I am for a second. Heir to the throne.”

“So yes, then?” 

“I think she was more into the kissing than I was.”

“No. No no no. We should not be talking about this.” I said as I pulled the blanket over my head. This was not good. This conversation was going in dangerous directions.

“Are you jealous?”

“Maybe.”

“That’s adorable.” He laughed. He pulled the blanket off of me and held me close to him, kissing the top of my head. “Though I do have one more question.”

“I don’t think I like where this is going.”

“Who was the first person you made love to.”

“I knew I wouldn’t like the turn of this conversation.”

There was no way that I could tell Thorin about that. It wasn’t exactly something I could tell anyone. 

“I know hardly anything about your past. I want to know all of it.”

“And this is the first door you’ve decided to open into that past?”

“Yes.”

“Are you ever going to let this go?”

“No.” He kissed the top of my head again. “I’m not saying I’m going to enjoy any of it, or that I won’t be jealous, but it is a part of your past and I want to know.”

“I…” I sighed again. That was happening far too often tonight. “Fine. Fine.” I leaned back on Thorin’s chest. “I was a young, foolish elf once. I enjoyed wine far too much. I enjoyed festivals and parties, all the things that young elves still enjoy far too much. He was visiting from Rivendell with Elrond and his daughter, Arwen. We got along really well. He stayed longer than the others did. I kissed him near the river and it escalated.”

“Did you love him?”

“I did once. Or I thought I did. It’s hard to tell now. It was so long ago.” I shook my head. I hadn’t thought of those days in a long time. I hadn’t really wanted to since I met Thorin. Or rather, fell in love with him. “I’m not really a fan of this. What about you? I mean, I don’t really _want_ to know, but it is only fair.”

“A drunken party with a member of Dis’s husband’s family, before they got married. It was just the two of us.”

“Somehow that doesn’t really surprise me.”

“That hurts.”

“I just mean that you don’t seem like the type to really fall head over heels.”

“I’m not. Before now, I’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a month.” 

“Really?”

“You?”

“I’ve been in four what you would call ‘committed’ relationships, five including ours.”

“Including Lucien?”

“Yes.”

“Did you love them all?”

“I said I love you to three of them, again including us and two of them have clearly reciprocated.”

“Hm.”

“What?”

“I never really saw you as the committed type either, but you seem to have changed your mind.”

“So did you.” I kissed him this time, turning to face him so I wasn’t craning my neck. “Let’s stop talking about this. All these things, past lovers, kisses, they don’t matter anymore. We’ve found each other now.” I intertwined our fingers, bringing our hands towards my chest. “Isn’t that what matters?”

He nodded, pulling me into another kiss. Thorin slid his tongue over my bottom lip, requesting entrance. I granted his request. He drew his hands up and cupped my cheek while using his other hand to unlace my night dress. It fell around me on the bed. He brought his lips to my breast and began to suck lightly. I grabbed his hair, keeping him close to me while letting out a small moan. He moved to the other, giving them equal attention. 

He moved away and started kissing down my stomach while spreading my legs apart. I pulled at his shirt.

“It’s not a bloody tug of war, Eril.” He chuckled.

I glared at him. He smirked, taking off his shirt and licking gently at my folds. I arched my back. He moved the attention of his lips to my clit while gently sticking two fingers inside of my core, curving them into an “L” shape, scratching ever so slightly to push me closer to the edge. I threw my head back into the pillows. My stomach was burning with desire. I scratching his back hard enough to break skin as I came. I was panting heavily, my eyes half closed.

Thorin quickly discarded his trousers and pants and positioned himself at my entrance. He slid in slowly. He rested his forehead against mine, letting out a long breath of satisfaction. Thorin started to grind against me, going at an agonising pace. I arched my back. I kept my hands on his back, occasionally digging into the skin. I was sure that I broke skin. I felt a little bad, but didn’t really care at the moment. 

“Thorin, enough torturing. Come on.” I panted.

“Come on, what?”

“Thorin…”

“I love it when you say my name.”

“Thorin.”

“Again.”

“Thorin!”

“Thank you, .”

He started to actually thrust, hard and deep, hitting me in just the right place. I started to get louder as I came closer to my second orgasm. Thorin grabbed my hips and moved them up to get a better position. I felt my orgasm crash over me. I clawed at his back one last time. He was soon behind, his thrusts becoming erratic just before he came. He laid next to me. I rested my head against his shoulder.

“I hope we’ve dropped the conversation of our pasts now.” I breathed.

“Past relationships, maybe, but definitely not our entire pasts. You are a few millennia old. I’m sure you’ve got some great stories.” Thorin kissed my cheek.

“Fantastic ones. Truly brilliant.”

“I look forward to hearing about them when we’re married.”

“Is it really only a few months away?”

“It feels like forever.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” I agreed.

A few months. It didn’t seem possible. A year ago, Thorin and I had been stealing kisses and trying not to give longing glances when the others were looking. I hadn’t realised how much I had wanted what we have now. I moved closer to him. A few months. I hoped that I was ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry it was late. Tomorrow's will probably be even later. Because I work later and have a research paper due on Wednesday that I have to work on. The wedding is coming soon. I have so many plans. it's like 5 chapters long because there are so many different parts to write about. Tolkien weddings are complicated.


	12. The Return of Bilbo Baggins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha I managed to post today. Bilbo Baggins, my friends. I bet you all thought I would never actually add our small hobbit friend. Ha. Yeah.

“Are you sure about this? It is a long journey.” Thorin said as I continued packing.

“Yes. This is the sort of thing you ask old friends to come to in person, no matter the irregularity of it. The entire wedding goes against tradition. Besides, it will be fantastic to get out of Erebor. I love it here, but I love travelling so much more.” I responded.

“Just making sure that you’re prepared.”

“I’m always prepared, Thorin.”

“Then why did you forget something?”

“What?! What did I forget? I know that I have everything!”

“Relax, Eril.” Thorin took my hands. “It was a joke. It’ll be fine. I know you’re prepared for this.”

“That wasn’t funny.”

“It was kind of funny.”

“No.”

“All right, agree to disagree.”

“Fine. As you said, this is a long journey. It would be a shame if we fought the whole way. It would be far to reminiscent of old times.”

Thorin laughed. This was going to be a long journey. We were going back to the Shire. It was just Thorin and myself, for now. It was, after all, the invitation to our wedding. We thought it would be best if Bilbo got his by hand. From us. It was tradition, as I said before, that we announce the wedding a week before it actually happened. Being that Bilbo was so far away, we had set the date two months before the usual announcement, just to make sure that the hobbit was able to attend. Today, we were heading out. It was really going to be just us, no security or anything else, despite the protests of some of the royal advisors. We much preferred it that way.

Thorin and I left around noon. We had a horse and two ponies. One of the ponies was to carry extra food and supplies. We were prepared for the trek completely. From the smooth journey we were hoping for to a dramatic quest like the one to take back Erebor, we had everything. Honestly, it was a simple journey to the Shire. Now that we didn’t have Azog on our tail, we could take more well known roads. Legolas had told me that Mirkwood, while still dangerous, had lost most of it’s dark illusion powers. It would be safe to take the elven road without risking getting lost.

I hoped he was right.

~-~-~-~-~-

It was several weeks worth of travelling. Thorin and I kept ourselves entertained, talking and other things. Finally, we arrived at the Shire. It was strange being back here. In almost two years it had hardly changed at all. There were a few more fences here and there and a couple of new faces. It was nice. Thorin and I somewhat remembered the way. Of course, that meant that we again got lost twice trying to find our way. It seemed to be a bad habit of ours. Finally, we found the door. I was pleased to see that he had kept the rune on his door. I could even make it out in the semi dark we were in.

“Do you want to knock or shall I?” Thorin asked.

“I think your signature dramatic knock will suffice.” I responded.

He chuckled and obliged. I heard Bilbo shuffling around inside. He yelled something muffled through the door. The door opened. Bilbo’s face instantly lit up when he realised who we were.

“Eril! Thorin!” He said in excitement. “Come in, come in! I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you both!” He stepped back into his hobbit hole. Thorin entered and I ducked in, crouching to make sure that I didn’t hit the ceiling. “When I heard that you two were betrothed, I wanted to come to Erebor to congratulate you, but my sister got married. Then she got pregnant, and I just haven’t had the time. But congratulations!”

He hugged Thorin first. Thorin, who wasn’t really big on hugs, was shocked, but still hugged the hobbit back. They were friends. I kneeled down to hug Bilbo next.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, but why are you here? You wouldn’t just leave Erebor to see little old me.” Bilbo handed us both cups of tea.

“Well, we have another announcement. Or rather, an invitation.” I began, taking a sip.

“An invitation?” Bilbo looked at us curiously. “You’ve set the date?!”

“Yes,we have.” Thorin smiled. 

Bilbo was over the moon. He started asking a lot of questions. Questions that Thorin could really only answer. I took the time to look around the hobbit hole. It really hadn’t changed much. Except for a framed map. I stood and walked to it. Yes, there it was. The map to the secret entrance into Erebor. I traced my finger over the dragon. It was hard to believe that we, or rather Bard, had really killed Smaug once and for all. Thorin had almost been eaten, twice, by that monster. If I never saw another dragon again, it would be too soon. I shook my head. Bilbo also had a small chest with gold and silver. Sting was resting inside in its sheath. It seemed a little said to see the small blade not being used. Maybe I could convince Bilbo to go on a hunting trip so he could stay in practice. I saw the old contract sitting at the very top. Thorin’s signature was at the bottom, Bilbo’s right underneath it. It was so elegant.

I turned back to Bilbo and Thorin. Bilbo had always been very excited by other cultures. I could only imagine the excitement he was getting from the prospect of an elf-dwarf wedding. I constantly found my head spinning from it all. It was just all so… new. Unexplored territories, new traditions, hopefully breaking years of hatred between dwarves and elves and paving a new road to the future. Technically, Kili and Tauriel were the first recorded dwarf-elf marriage. Thorin and I had made sure that Tauriel was added to the official line of Thorin’s family. It was the most important thing that we had to do. It was something that was needed. Still, Thorin and I would be the face of it all. I was saddened that Tauriel and Kili wouldn’t be standing with us. 

I shook my head again to get rid of that thought. If it wasn’t for Tauriel, I wouldn’t be here. Or Thorin wouldn’t. It would have been awful for all those involved. I sat back at the table. This was a time for celebration. Bilbo was more than happy to come to Erebor with us again. He left a note this time, stating that he could be gone anytime from a week to a year and that unless they received a note from Erebor signed by Thorin Oakenshield himself about Bilbo’s untimely demise, they were _not_ to do anything to his estate. Apparently, there had been some trouble when he came back last time. Thorin and I signed the note, as well as leaving behind an invitation to really let the people know that this was real.

Bilbo ran around his house, packing clothes. Thorin found Bilbo’s handkerchief on the table. He picked it up with a smile.

“Best not to forget this, Master burglar.” Thorin held it up.

The three of us burst out laughing. This was perfect. We had really come full circle now. Thorin and I were together and Bilbo was the person he was always meant to become. That much was certain to us all. 

Bilbo mounted the extra pony expertly. I was surprised. It was much different than it was before. So began our journey back to Erebor. So began the journey to my uncertain future with Thorin.

~-~-~-~-~-

When Bilbo walked in through the front gates of Erebor, the rest of the company was waiting with smiles. Bilbo was pulled into a very large hug. I could hear him laughing, so I at least knew he was alive somewhere in the pile. Thorin was pulled in as well. I took several steps away to make sure that I wasn’t grouped in with them. I was perfectly fine not hugging them right now. Too many dwarves. And I lived with them. I had to ease back into the company myself. Bilbo was dragged off to have dinner with them. Thorin just barely managed to escape.

“Somehow, him being here makes this all seem more real to me.” I said after a moment of watching the dwarves roughhouse with the hobbit.

“I can understand why. He was amongst the rest of the company when we first kissed, which as we both know is why you-” Thorin began.

“ _Oh, shut up._ ”

I playfully hit his shoulder. Yes, it was all real now. It had taken a month and a half to get to Bilbo’s and back, thankfully without any orcs chasing us. That gave us one week before the actual wedding. I was absolutely terrified. What else was I supposed to do? My entire uncertain future was looming. I was excited, as well. I was, after all, marrying Thorin. What more could I ask for?

This was going to be one hell of a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you enjoy? The wedding chapters have officially begun. Then the plot will thicken. And things will happen. Because plot lines. And plot holes, I think. And friends. And happiness. And weddings. And I'm going to stop writing and.


	13. A Week to be Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha! A chapter. This is an update that is kind of short, but is definitely great. Or at least, I think so. Thorin and Eril, less than two days away from the wedding. Jitters? Definitely. Drama? Probably. Three more chapters of wedding content? Absolutely. Ha! 
> 
> **UPDATE**  
>  I've added some more fluffy stuff. Just talking about the future. I think it's cute and I should have written it in the first place but I didn't. So here it is now!

Thorin and I were spending this week apart. We weren’t supposed to see each other, which essentially meant that I stayed in my private chambers most of the time. It was maddening. I also had free rein of the garden area. The tree that Thorin had planted for me was growing well. I spent any time I had to read there. It was a good pass time that made not seeing Thorin somehow more bearable. It wasn’t like I couldn’t survive without him. I had just spent practically two years never leaving his side and it was strange for him not to be there now. I supposed that I would just have to get used to it. There were other people to talk to in Erebor, like Dis and Fili and the rest of the company. And Bilbo was here. He and I spent a lot of time in the gardens together. He had planted the acorn in his garden, he told me. It was nice for him to have a reminder of the adventure we had gone on.

Mostly, I just stayed to myself. I wasn’t staying cooped up in my room because I didn’t like anyone. I just didn’t completely trust myself not to seek out Thorin at some capacity if I started wandering around Erebor. Maybe I had far less willpower than I originally thought. It wouldn’t surprise me. I had a very high view of myself that was very biased, I knew that.

I shook my head. I looked out across the water. The moon was high in the sky, casting a dim glow throughout the garden. I set aside my book and picked up the candle I had brought with me. Thorin would have been in bed by now. There was practically no risk of me accidentally running into him. I walked back to my private rooms. I hadn’t really been in here for more than two consecutive nights. It was beautiful. Thorin knew me well enough to make it a comfortable place for me to stay. It just wasn’t the same without Thorin. I changed and crawled into the bed. I looked to the side where Thorin usually slept. It was strange not to see him there. I had rather grown used to him being there. I sighed and turned to face the wall. It was cold gray stone. I closed my eyes. I had to sleep. Four more days, then we would see each other. I could wait four days.

Couldn’t I?

Somehow, I managed to fall into a dreamless sleep. You see, that would have been a good thing because I was spared from the constant barrage of nightmares, but dreamless sleeps are the worst ones. It’s like just having your eyes closed for hours. It doesn’t even really feel like sleep, but when you wake up, you feel fully rested. I hated those kinds of nights.

It didn’t last long. I was gently shaken awake. I woke up and blinked the sleep away. Thorin was kneeling by my bed with a small smile.

“Thorin? What are you doing here? We’re not supposed to-” I began.

“Yeah, I know. I just have something that I need to show you. Come on.” Thorin stood and started walking away.

I grumbled and got up. I was really just grumbling more for his sake than my own. In all honesty, I was relieved that he was here now. It was sparing me from quite the long night. 

He took my hand and started to lead me through the halls. We made a turn that I didn't recognise. I didn't know this part of Erebor. Thorin was smiling. I looked at the halls. It wasn't khuzdul runes lining the walls. Well, not just khuzdul, anyway. Elvish? It was Sindarin. I traced over a “t”. The halls were made of dark stone with gold laid in the centre, extending through them all. It was beautiful.

“What is this place?” I asked, continuing to move my fingers across the runes.

“This is the place I built for us. Well, really for you.” He said.

I didn’t see that he was watching me carefully to see my reaction. He had built this for me? When had he done that? It was beautiful. Really and truly. I couldn’t really put what I felt into words. No one had ever done this. He had integrated our two worlds to create one place that we could both feel comfortable in. It was something that we had struggled with. Erebor was really made more for dwarves than the visitors. I had felt like I was supposed to leave. With this addition, I actually felt like I belonged here. 

The final thing that he showed me was our room. It was the most beautiful room that I had ever seen. The bed had a canopy over it made of a light green fabric. I recognised it’s make as elvish. As I ran my hand over the soft fabric, I noticed the bookshelves. Well, it was really more like a book wall. Thorin had turned one of the walls into a giant stone book shelf. He had taken the liberty of adding editions of my favourites, as well as journals that I had kept. I hadn’t expected any of this.

“It’s perfect, Thorin.” I smiled. “You know, we shouldn’t really be together right now.”

He shrugged. “I believe your general excuse is that this whole wedding goes against our traditions. What was one more broken tradition amongst everything else? Besides, the week is almost over.”

“That’s the kind of logic that creates empires.”

“I’m content with Erebor, as long as I have you by my side.”

“You’re far too kind, Thorin. Honestly. What did I do to deserve you?”

“You saved my life. At least four times.”

“You saved mine just as much.” I responded. 

I started listing off all of the times that we had saved each other’s lives. There had been a significant amount. Thorin groaned and pulled me down into a kiss to shut me up. He had, unfortunately, used too much force and I ended up on top of him, my hair cascading around us in a dark veil. We were both laughing. Thorin stopped and reached up to stroke my cheek. I leaned into his hand and closed my eyes. He leaned up and kissed me again, with less force than before. 

“ _Amrali,_ Eril.” Thorin said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“ _Gi melethig,_ Thorin.” I responded.

I rested my forehead against his. This was where I belonged. My heart raced when I was near him and ached when we were apart. This was what I had always wanted and what I needed, more than anything. I let out a contented sigh.

“This place… well. I can perfectly picture seeing this place in our future.” I said.

“What do you see in our future?”

“What do you see?”

“I asked you first.”

I thought about it. What did I see? If I was being completely honest, I hadn’t really thought about it all that much. I had been otherwise preoccupied.

“I suppose I see what most people see when they plan to get married. A long life together, maybe…” was I really going to say this? I had thought about it, and I wanted to be completely honest with him, “maybe a child or two, eventually.”

Thorin started laughing. “I must admit, I did not think of you as the type to want children.”

I blushed. “Yes, well, it is something that seemed possible when we took back Erebor.”

“Hm. I could picture some dwarflings,” elflings? “running around here. That sounds nice.”

He kissed the tip of my nose. We sat quietly together, not talking and just enjoying each other’s company after so many days apart.

“We’d better get back before we’re missed. People will start to talk.” I said finally.

“Let them. Besides,” Thorin leaned up to my ear, “you’re not moving either.”

And if I had a weaker will, I’m sure that I never would have gotten up. But I was right, and we had to leave. Bilbo and I had planned a walk around Erebor. He would be in my chambers before first light and it had already been close to dawn when Thorin had come to get me. We walked hand in hand through the hall that he had built for us, for _me_ , and left before we reached the door.

“Until tomorrow, _amrâlimê_.” Thorin kissed my hand,

“Good night, _meleth-nin_.” I smiled and walked away.

Tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be a great wedding, I think. I've spent a lot of time researching dwarvish and elvish weddings, and I think I've combined them rather nicely. Yeah! Yay! Happy times before drama ensues!


	14. The Admâ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay an update! I've turned in my research paper, but exams start week after next so if this isn't done by then, there will be a lot more days without updates. I'm not planning on making this a trilogy, as I think this will end in such a way that won't allow for them to continue on. But, you never know.

I got back to my room a few moments before Bilbo came in. He knocked on my door tentatively. I made it seem like I had just gotten up as well. Bilbo smiled at me.

“You’re absolutely radiant, Eril.” He said happily.

“Thanks, I guess. Why are you being so nice right now?” I asked.

“It’s the day before your wedding day! Of course I’m being nice!”

“It’s just the _admâ_. Quick question, do you know if Elrond has arrived yet? He’s supposed to be representing the ‘father of the bride’ position.”

“Oh, yeah. I think he arrived late last night. Bombur was talking about the damned elves today.”

Good. That was good. This was fantastic, wasn’t it? Everything was shaping up. I was only a little bit terrified of what was going on. It was my wedding. Our, wedding. I was jittery. I had never once, in over 3000 years, used the word jittery to describe myself. I shook my head. How many things had Thorin made me change about myself? Had he even really made me or was it just something that had happened so I could adapt to his world? I straightened my shirt. Bilbo and I started on our walk. I loved having Bilbo as a friend. He was another person that was so easy for me to talk to. We relived the stories of the journey here, from that first night in his hobbit hole to the night we gave the Arkenstone to Thranduil and Bard. There was so much history between us. He was easily the best friend that I had ever had.

“So, you’re getting married! How do you feel, Eril?” Bilbo asked.

“I can’t really describe it. I can feel the world spinning around me.” I responded, stopping in the hall. “I love him. I love him more than anything in the world, and after all that we have been through together, this seems far too long overdue.”

“I thought you might say that. I have to say, I never really saw this happening. I don’t think any of us did.”

“Thanks for the bode of confidence, Bilbo. That really helps my anxieties.” I chuckled nervously, hoping that he really was joking.

“No, no. I just mean that the two of you used to hate each other so much.”

“I think hate is a very strong word. I mean, we never really got along, but I like to think we could at least tolerate each other’s presence.”

“You like to think that, but we both know that’s not true.”

“Can’t you just let me have my fantasies, Bilbo?”

I nudged him to the side. I smiled. I was so happy to see Bilbo here for this. It wouldn’t have felt right without him. We continued our walk, just reminiscing and talking about what our futures may have held if things had turned out differently. It was good to have someone that didn’t want to talk about my impending nuptials at the moment. I was nervous enough as it was without people asking me what my plans with Thorin would be. I had no clue, I was just making this up as I went along.

Bilbo took me to the throne room. Elrond was waiting there with Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen. I hadn’t seen any of them in a long time. Arwen was dressed in light green, and unsurprisingly Elladan and Elrohir were dressed in the same clothing. They looked so much like their father. I think that was their intention. Elrond was wearing his usual regal clothing, with a golden circlet around his head. His children were all wearing similar ones of silver. I walked over to them with a smile. I was so happy to see them here. It wouldn’t have been right without them. 

“Lord Elrond, _gi sulion! Gi nathlam hí. Guren glassui._ All of you.” I said, hugging Arwen.

“We would not have missed a joyous occasion as this, Eril.” Elrond said with a smile. “This union is one that I have looked forward to for many years.”

“Elrond, did you know this was going to happen?”

He smiled again. “I must admit, after your mother, I may have looked to see what your future held. I hoped that this was the path that you would choose.”

“I take it you were the one who told Gandalf, then? That would explain much. Nevermind. It matters not any longer. You’re all here now. Thank you, all of you, for standing in as my family. I could not think of anyone I’d rather have by my side. Speaking of…” I turned to Bilbo. “Bilbo, would you do me the honour of joining my family?”

“M-me? Really?” He looked completely shocked.

“Of course. You’re family, Bilbo. You have been for some time now.”

“Well, how can I say no to such an offer as this?”

I hugged Bilbo again. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. These people were my family. If they weren’t here then none of this would have been right. 

Thus began the _admâ_. The _admâ_ was a great feast, a welcoming feast. I had very little idea about what to expect, other than Elrond reading the zarb aloud. I was grateful that Thorin and I had still had our wits about us when we had written that. It would have been embarrassing is we had put down some of the later things we had talked about. Before I was led down to the feast, I had to fetch the zarb. It was still in my desk, in the centre drawer. It was in the room Thorin and I had shared. I hadn’t been here all week. There were random papers strewn about the room and the bed was still made. He apparently hadn’t been sleeping much either. I shook my head and picked up the zarb. Leather bound and sealed with a wax combination of Thorin’s and my own seal. I traced it with a faint smile before walking out. I was ready for this.

The feast had already begun when I walked in. Thorin was sitting at a great table in the centre, very happily talking to his friends and the few family members that he had invited, such as Dain. That would be interesting. I was sat at a different table, with Elrond and the people I had designated as my family. It was significantly smaller. Thorin and I met eyes across the room. He held up his glass. I did the same and took a long drink. I had a feeling I was going to need it to get through this day. 

The dwarves, as I had expected, spared no expense for the feast. They had apparently gone on a hunt at some point as well. There was fresh game on every table. Thorin, or more likely, Balin, had made sure that there was plenty of food that the elves would enjoy as well. I would have to remember to thank him for that later. 

It was interesting to watch the elves and dwarves interact. Elrond, Thorin, and I remained relatively sober, sipping on sweet wine. The young dwarves, mainly being Fili and Ori, drank ale, and strong ale, by the looks of how they were behaving. Elrond’s sons were pretty drunk themselves but were at least still on their best behaviour.

Towards the middle of the evening, Elrond called for all to be quiet. He had the zarb in his right hand.

“It is my great pleasure to be standing here before you as a member of this joyous union. Now, it it time for me to read the zarb, the wedding contract created by Thorin and Eril.”

He broke the seal and carefully unfolded the paper and all of it’s extensions. I hadn’t quite realised how long it really was. It took Elrond a long time to get through it all. When he did, we knew that it was official. Thorin and I were going to have the ceremony tomorrow. 

The beginning of the rest of our lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably tomorrow.


	15. The Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah it's up today wooooooooaaaaahhh translations in the end notes. There's actually quite a lot, just because of the vows.

Today was the day.

Today was the day that I was getting married to Thorin. I had hardly slept that night, not that I really needed to. Still, it would have been nice to not have the several hours of waiting. The anxiety, the anticipation, just all of it. I could have honestly done without that. I took a deep breath. This was really happening. It had taken us nearly two and a half years to get here, but we were here nonetheless. What more could I have possibly wanted or needed? I blinked a couple of times and looked outside. The sun was hanging low in the sky, just barely visible over the hills. It was a nice day. At least that had gone right so far.

The wedding itself would take place at midday. I had a lot of time to kill between now and then. I spent about an hour of that time staring at a ceiling from my bed. I don’t think that I actually moved until Bilbo came into my room to see if I was awake and getting ready. He seemed genuinely shocked that I wasn’t up and walking around, completely ready for my wedding in five hours.

“C’mon, Eril! I know that you’re not really one for celebrations, but this is your wedding day. Show a little enthusiasm!” He scoffed.

“Don’t take my lack of emotion as not being ‘enthusiastic’. I’m just simply very calm.” I responded.

“Exactly. Why’s that?” 

“Because I know that this is the right choice. More than that. I know that I love Thorin and that he loves me. What is there to be nervous about?” I was certain of that. Still, I sat up in my bed. “Are you nervous, Bilbo?”

“What? I, well, no, not exactly. Dwalin and Balin explained to me what I would be doing, and it doesn’t seem too complicated, I just suppose that I’m worried for you. I mean, not for you, but about you. You are, after all, one of my best friends, and Thorin is as well, and the two of you, well, you just seem to fit so well together and I don’t want for anything bad to happen to you and I know that this wedding has been in the sights of many, some of those people being of the not so savoury kind and I-”

I stood up and walked to the hobbit, resting my hands on his shoulders. “Take a breath, Bilbo.” He did. “Now, I’m going to attempt to put your mind at ease. You are one of my best friends as well, Bilbo, thank you for the compliment. As for the people that disapprove of this union, they cannot touch Thorin or myself. Need I remind you that we are two excellent fighters? Not only that, but we have some of the best guards in Middleearth. If anyone should try something, they will be very saddened to learn that they will fail, miserably, every time. Is that better?”

Bilbo nodded. “I will never understand elves.”

“And I will never understand hobbits. I think that none of us can truly understand the other. We can just try our best to coexist in peace.”

I smiled at Bilbo. He was soon reflecting it.

Bilbo and I sat and talked for a while, but he did eventually have to leave. I found it strange that the last week had been me being far too anxious about this day and now that it was here, I couldn’t possibly be calmer. It was rather a relief, but also worrying. I did my best not to think too much about it. 

When the sun was about halfway into the sky, I decided to finally start getting ready. I picked up the wedding robe. After the year, it was finally complete, with the much needed help from Dis. There were green and blue jewels sewn in throughout the bodice, the silver and gold of the fabric making the shine even brighter. The robe itself fell onto the floor. I had to wear dark leather pants underneath because of the opening in the middle. It also made me feel better to have something other than the robe on. The sleeves extended down, hugging at my upper arm and extending out once they reached my wrists. This was really to cover up the nasty scar there. I tugged at the sleeve, frowning. I wish I knew how Thranduil hid all of his old wounds. The gods knew that he had sustained enough of them in his time.

I struggled with my hair. I had been able to get it mostly braided, but it was difficult to do by myself, at least in the complicated way that suited a wedding. I was sat in front of the mirror. I heard a knock on my door.

“Come in.” I said.

In the mirror, I saw that it was Thorin. I turned around.

“You’re not supposed to be here, you know.” I said sternly, struggling to keep a straight face. I was very glad to see him. It felt like it had been months.

I turned to face him. Thorin was dressed in kingly attire, as I had expected. He had silver and gold beads braided into his hair to match the colour of his robes.

“Yes, well, I’m the king, I can do what I want.” He responded smugly. “You look breathtaking. For an elf.” Thorin added with a wink and a grin.

“You’re not so bad yourself. For a dwarf.” I turned back to the mirror and started to try and fix my hair again.

“Would you like some help with that?”

Thorin didn’t give me a chance to respond as he moved behind me and gently pulled my dark hair into his hands. He ran through it with his fingers a couple of times. He parted the locks and expertly braided my hair. Similarly to his, there were beads in some of the braids, made of green glass, silver, and gold. I touched one of them. Thorin had done beautifully.

“Thank you. Now I shall at least look presentable next to a king.” I said softly.

“ _Amrâlimê,_ all eyes will be on your beauty.” Thorin kissed my hand.

“You’re far too kind to me, Thorin.”

“Yes, I am. Look at what you’ve turned me into.” He stood up and rested his hand on my shoulder. We, for the first time in our time at Erebor, looked like a king and his queen. “I supposed I’d better be off. I’ve got a wedding to attend.”

“Goodbye, _meleth-nin._ I’ll see you at that wedding. Don’t be late. I hear the bride is a real pain when it comes to tardiness.”

“Aye, that she is.” Thorin gave a small bow and left me alone again.

I was in a very similar position to what I had been before when I was summoned to the hall. I pulled on another darker robe, as I was supposed to do. When I let this robe fall, it would start the wedding. It was a very complicated ceremony. Much more complicated than an elvish wedding. I was walked down amongst my family. Arwen took my hand and smiled reassuringly.

“You’ve waited a long time for this day.” She whispered to me.

“When you’ve found real love, the wait feels like a second.” I responded. “I hope you find a real love.”

I was glad to have them with me. We arrived at the hall at the same time as Thorin. I dropped the darker robe from my shoulders. It fell to the ground in a circle around my feet. I nodded to Elrond. He raised the hammer high above his head, and the families formed a circle with Thorin and I on opposite sides. This was a symbol of the staying of Mahal’s hammer by the grace of Eru and signifies that both families will shield the us from harm. After the circle was completely formed, Elrond dropped the hammer to his side and entered the centre of the circle. He pulled the zarb from his clothes and read it again. No one dared to make a sound, for fear of objecting to this union.

It took a long time to get through the whole thing. Thorin and I had been quite extensive. When it was finally completed, Thorin and I finally approached each other. Thorin circled me. This was a symbol stating that he would protect me in his halls. As he started to move around me, our families started to cheer. It took about half as long to die down as it did for Elrond to read the zarb. As the cheers faded, Thorin turned to face Elrond.

“Do you, Thorin Oakenshield, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, accept my daughter,” Elrond began, his eyes flicking to me and a slight smile crossing his face as he called me his daughter, “Eril Tranhandiel, Daughter of Trahand, Son of Griel, to your halls?”

Thorin kneeled in front of Elrond, bowing his head in respect. “I promise to accept her to my halls, to protect her and serve her as my wife.”

Elrond nodded and Thorin stood again. Elrond moved back to the outside of the circle while Thorin and I turned to face each other. He took my hands and looked up at me with a smile. He started to recite the Seven Blessings.

“ _Mamahdûn Mahal ku’ muha sullu khama akrâzu Sulladad. Mamahdûn Mahal ku’ muha kâmin, abbad ra hanâd. Mamahdûn Mahal ku’ muha îbin ra ritîh ni kurdû id-abad. Mamahdûn Mahal ku’ muha khazâd ra barraf haded. Mamahdûn Mahal ku’ gashara khazâd atrâb d’amzur îbin ra ritîh ni kurdû id-abad. Mamahdûn Mahal ku’ mahgayada dûmmâ tur naddanhu. Mamahdûn Mahal ku’ mahgayada mayasthûn ra mayasthûna._ ” Thorin said confidently.

I repeated them with the same confidence.

“ _Ni dûmê zasamkhihiya zahar, ni kurduzi zâmkhihi azhâr._ ” Thorin said.

“ _Ni dûmzu zâmkhihi zahar, ni kurdumê zasamkhihi azhâr._ ” I responded.

With this vow, Thorin had proclaimed to all present that I was _his_ , and his alone. He looked around the circle containing his side of the family with a challenging stare. My reply was me signifying that I accepted him as my husband and I vowed to love him. After our vows were done, we exchanged rings, taking the silver ones off of our fingers and placing them onto chains. We put our new golden rings on our right index fingers.

Fili came towards us with the marriage ale. He handed the cup to Thorin and moved back outside of the centre. Thorin took a long drink, downing probably about half of it at once before he handed it to me. I followed in suit. When the mug was empty, the ceremony was over. Thorin and I were officially married. The families started to cheer again. Thorin and I stayed a little ways behind.

“May those who doubted us rue this day.” Thorin smiled.

“Haven’t you said that before?” I joked.

“I have indeed, and I’ve meant it both times.”

“All right, we’ve done the dwarven wedding. We’ve broken practically every tradition, and it’s time to break one more. Come on.”

I took Thorin’s hand and walked back to the centre of the halls.

“No mortal has ever heard this words before. Consider yourself very welcome, Thorin Oakenshield, and repeat after me.”

And after we were done, we walked to the feast together hand in hand. When we arrived, we said the seven blessings again, this time in front of what felt like all of Dale. Several nobles had been invited to the festival. It was going to last seven days. I was really only dreading this part. Having to be sociable with people that I didn’t know and probably wouldn’t have liked if I did. Well, wasn’t that how my whole journey started? Me being stuck with people that I didn’t know and thought that I would have hated? Look how well that turned out for me. Surely this would be the same?

Thorin took my hand. 

“Braving the storm.” He said.

“Completely ready.” I responded.

We walked to a rather large table. This was a much larger version of the festivities that we had had the night before. And it was going to last seven times as long. And we had to be present the whole time. Great.

But we were finally married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't actually write the elvish vows because Tolkien never gave us the elvish vows. He did this because he said no mortals ever knew the words, so we can never know the words, BUT! He did provide full details of the dwarven wedding, so there. Here are the translations of the vows.
> 
>  
> 
> **The Seven Blessings**
> 
>  
> 
> Blessed are you mahal who has created everything for the glory of Eru. Blessed are you mahal who fashioned the earth, the mountains and the hills. Blessed are you Mahal who fashioned the gems and metals in the heart of the mountain. Blessed are you Mahal who fashioned the dwarves and the seven houses. Blessed are you Mahal who taught the dwarves the skill to work the gems and metals in the heart of the mountain. Blessed are you mahal who gladdens out Halls through his children. Blessed are you Mahal who gladdens groom and bride.
> 
> **Promise of the Bride and Groom** (It's not actually called that, but I don't know what else to call it.)
> 
> Thorin: In my Halls you will find a house, in your heart I will find a home.
> 
> Eril: In your Halls I will find a house, in my heart you will find a home.
> 
> There. The feast lasts seven days, with dancing and eating and more dancing. But we're gonna skip all of that. Because I'm lazy and tired and just want to not write about a feast that lasts _seven days_. gsdhjbgabg


	16. **A Week After the Wedding**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was just a little late. Totally not four days. I wasn't procrastinating (I really wasn't I have finals starting on Friday I can't be focused on Thorin all the time anymore which makes me sad)

The festival was finally over. It was like a week of hell. The alcohol helped me get through it, but I have no idea how many goodbyes we had to say, how many things we had to say to thank them. There were a lot of nobles wishing us the best and of course they expected a genuine thank you. Anything else would have caused a riot and could see that not all of them were exactly willing to congratulate our union anyway. It was a relief when they were finally out of Erebor. Once they were all gone, it was just the staff left. We thanked them sincerely for all of their hard work. At least, I think it was sincere. It was supposed to be. That was how I meant it. I was just so desperate to leave.

Thorin practically dragged me out of the hall and into our new room. We passed a couple of dwarves on the way that said congratulations. Thorin waved them off. I think he had been more excited about this than even me.

He started to rip off my wedding robe as soon as the door was closed, exposing my chest. I did the same with his own robe. They both clattered to the ground. Thorin pushed me down onto the four poster bed. 

“Oh, to finally be alone.” He said with a slightly dark tone that was terrifying and arousing at the same time. It was the same way he spoke when he was acting jealous.

“Longest week of my life.” I agreed, pulling Thorin into a kiss.

He ran his tongue across my bottom lip, asking for an entrance that I more than willingly gave to him. He put his hand on my back and arched it into him. I moaned at his touch. He ran a hand across my chest, gently flicking his thumb a hard nipple. The pleasure raced across my skin. He pulled his lips away from mine and moved to the other nipple, circling it with his rough tongue. I leaned my head back into the pillow.

“I thought those damned nobles would never let us alone. Honestly.” I sighed.

“I was very close to stabbing some of them.”

His free hand trailed down my stomach. He pushed in his index finger inside of me without warning. After a moment, I leaned into his touch. Thorin placed another finger inside, brushing against my walls. He began pumping in and out. I longed for more friction.

Eventually, he pulled his fingers away. I groaned at the loss. He forced my knees apart and started to kiss down my abdomen, not that he really needed to force anything. He just wanted more control. He kissed my inner thigh, getting closer to my folds but never reaching them. He had the intention of torturing me now. I grabbed his hair. He got the general message. He moved his fingers back and kissed my clit softly. I groaned. I was getting close already. I had been waiting for this for a _week_ , it wasn’t really that surprising. I started to pant. It was a mixture of Thorin’s tongue, fingers, and the coarseness of his beard. He smiled as I came.

Thorin kissed me. I could taste myself on his lips. He pulled away and as we locked eyes, he entered me roughly, the pain making me moan. I wrapped my legs around his waist to draw him closer. I didn’t get a chance to adjust. He was already pumping hard into me.

“ _Azrali, lansel_.” He whispered into my ear. I shuddered at the deep tones of his voice. “My Queen.”

His pace was steady and firm. I felt a familiar dizziness begin to wash over me as I tightened around him. I was close now. His motions were deliberate, meant to target every part of me that mattered in this moment. He leaned down and pressed his lips to my neck, sucking and biting, leaving marks there for sure. I was brought to a crippling orgasm. Thorin wasn’t far behind, keeping up his pace, albeit slightly more erratic, until he reached his own. He collapsed next to me and, as usual, pulled me close to him.

“That was… wow.” I said, still trying to catch my breath.

“It’s all that practice that we’ve had.” Thorin joked.

“I can’t entirely disagree with you, _my liege_.”

“Have we come back around to that, elf?” Thorin groaned.

“We have indeed, my king. It is very entertaining to see your expression.”

“As long as one of us is getting some enjoyment.”

“Thank you for the, albeit reluctant, compromise, _my king_.” 

This time, I didn’t really mean it to be patronising. He really was _my_ king, _my_ Thorin. 

“Anything for you, _my queen_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not _that_ short. Probably. Never mind. It's 812 words. It's short.


	17. It's Barely Been Two Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I already posted this chapter and then deleted it, but there was something that I had to add. So read that. Because. Cliffhangers. Suspense.

Two weeks. It had been two weeks of the two of us locked away in our room. We got food and the basic necessities, we just wanted to be alone. If you had been in our place, you would’ve wanted the same thing. We still had to re-emerge eventually. Balin had stopped them from arranging a large festival and Fili had been in charge while we were otherwise… occupied. He had done a good job. It seemed that all those in the line of Durin were. Well, with the exception of Dain II Ironfoot. I didn’t like thinking about that side of Thorin’s family. Now that we were back, though, Fili was more than happy to step down from the throne. He had been more… recluse since his brother had passed. I could understand why. The two of them had been exceptionally close and Kili had died because he was in the line of Durin. He probably didn’t want to have something happen to him.

I was by Thorin’s side now more than I had been. It just felt right to be there in the throne room with him. Besides, it was rather boring alone in Erebor. Not that the throne room was any better. There was an opening that led to the mines and the forges. It was hardly ever actually silent here. I did like that. Being in charge of Erebor was more or less what I used to do for Thranduil. Because of my experience, Thorin let me stay in charge of the trade. There were a lot of papers to read through and sign. It was tedious work but important.

The nightmares had stopped, as well.

Balin came in with his clipboard. 

“I hope the two of you don’t have any plans for today.” He said.

“What’s going on, Balin?” Thorin asked. He was looking a little annoyed. I think he had just a small something planned.

“The two of you must make your first public appearance.”

Right. I had forgotten about that. It was customary for a new king and queen to make a public appearance so the people could see them together. I looked down at what I was wearing. It was what I normally did, I supposed. Hunting clothes. Commoner’s clothes, as Legolas had called them. I rarely wore dresses. Thankfully, female dwarves had a similar aversion to dresses. Most of them dressed in clothes either similar or exactly the same as the men in their lives, be it their husband or their family. It certainly made my life easier. Still, even I had to dress more… regal, than I was now. I needed to change. 

It definitely wasn’t me trying to procrastinate going into the crowd.

“But before that, representatives from Mirkwood are here. They wish to speak of the trade route you proposed, Eril.” Balin explained.

I internally groaned. I had hoped Thranduil would just sign off on it. He hadn’t even brought it up when he was here. I was genuinely surprised that he had spared the precious elf resources.

“All right then, That shouldn’t be too difficult. I know these people well enough. We’ll have the trade route by the end of the afternoon.” I said, with probably too much confidence. “I can only hope that Thranduil will have some reason.”

Balin laughed.

I was concerned. Thranduil was not known for his reasonable side. At least not when it concerned dwarves. I closed my eyes. This was not going to be very fun for me, was it? A meeting with at least two elves. Well, Thranduil wouldn’t be there. Balin had said representatives. Now I really had to change. I was not going to give those stuck up elves the satisfaction of seeing me dressed as a commoner. 

I was starting to turn into a dwarf. 

It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, if I was being honest with myself.

Thorin and I left together. I wondered if we would really be apart again. It had barely been two weeks since the end of our celebration. This was actually normal, for once. Who knew that we could have a normal relationship? We went to our room. Our room. That was definitely strange. It had always been either his room or my room. I had certainly never expected a shared room. Not entirely true, but still strange, nonetheless. I walked to my wardrobe and picked out a navy blue outfit with silver linings.

“You look beautiful.” Thorin said. He was just sitting in a chair in the corner with a pipe in his mouth.

“You say that about everything I wear.” Or don’t wear.

“That’s because it’s always true.” 

“You do realise that I’m not going to be taking off these clothes right now, yes?”

“A king can dream.”

“Shut up, Thorin. I’ve got a very important meeting to get to about your bloody kingdom.”

“It’s your kingdom now, too.”

“That does tend to happen when one marries a king.”

“The famous sass of Eril Trahandiel, ruining kings and lords for 3000 years.” Thorin joked, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist. 

“And it may ruin just one more.” I joked, turning to face him.

“I think it was something else that ruined this king.” 

Thorin pulled me into a kiss, grabbing my waist and keeping me close to him. I allowed myself to get lost in the kiss. I grabbed at his hair. His hand started to trail down and I stepped away from the kiss. 

“I really do have to go, Thorin. If I’m late to this meeting, I just might start a war.” I said as I reluctantly walked away.

“Then start a war.”

“We’d never see each other again, my dear Thorin. I believe that would be much worse than a few hours apart.”

I didn’t give Thorin a chance to say anything else to convince me to stay because I knew that he would be able to. So I walked through Erebor with a purpose. I knew where I was going. There was a room that wasn’t the throne room designated for things like this. It was, like everything else in this palace, made of stone. There was a large stone table in the centre with wooden chairs for the guests and stone chairs for the dwarves. Balin, Dwalin, and Fili were waiting outside for me.

“Finally, she arrives.” Dwalin said with a smile.

“Oh, shut it, Dwalin. I gurantee you those elves will be another half hour. Thranduil’s minions often are.” I responded. “Let’s just get this over with, shall we?”

“Agreed.” The three said in unison.

We walked into the room. Balin went through and lit up the lanterns. I looked out one of the windows. It still amazed me how Erebor could have terraces and windows. It was, after all, a mountain. It was barely even noon yet. I hoped that the representatives would be here soon. I wanted to get this over with.

It wasn’t long before three elves were brought into the room. I was surprised to see Lucien. Then again, I wasn’t. I was still confident, perhaps even more confident than before. Lucien was easy to deal with. I knew how he thought and worked, far better than I liked to admit. I would be able to get this trade route approved for sure.

“Lucien, Haley, Troeil, it is a pleasure, as always.” I said, shaking their hands. 

“I was under the impression we would have a meeting with the King.” Lucien said coldly. “I didn’t realise he was too busy for something like this and had to send a woman.”

“You will watch your tongue!” Dwalin stood quickly, as he did when he was feeling patriotic. “You are in the presence of our Queen and you will show her the respect that she deserves.”

“Thank you, Dwalin.” I patted his shoulder and he sat down again. “As my friend was saying, I am the queen, and I am more than qualified to do this, Lucien. I was the one who drew up the contract in the first place. This is a simple trade agreement to bring our two people close together.”

“Thranduil just had a few issues he wished to address before we signed off on this project.”

Why did I highly doubt that? Still, I kept a smile on my face. It probably looked very, very forced. The more that Lucien talked, the more annoyed that I got and the smaller my smile got. This was going to be a long, long day. It probably would have been a good idea to send Balin out to warn Thorin. This was going to take so much longer than I thought. I had not been expecting Lucien and I completely blamed Thranduil.

“Well, those are all good points,” I said quickly before, “but you have to understand that we both must make compromises to make this work. This trade route will allow so many places to get their goods much quicker than they ever did before.”

“It seems that we are the only ones really making any compromises.” Lucien argued.

“Then you clearly haven’t read the whole contract.” I sighed. “Look, no one in this room really likes the other side, that much is obvious, but we don’t really have much choice anymore. The world is changing and if we don’t change with it, then we shall perish.”

“Wise words. I suppose that’s why you married the dwarf.”

This was not going to end well. I knew that much was very true. I could feel it in my bones. I was getting much angrier. He had brought Thorin into something that was completely unrelated to what we were supposed to actually discuss. 

“Enough, Lucien!” I stood up. “You will not speak of Thorin in an ill manner again, do you understand me? You will not bring him up again in this meeting, you will not mention my marriage as it is no concern of yours. You _will,_ however, look at this trade agreement, agree to it, sign the bloody contract, and let us all go home. I have more important things that I need to do today. Enjoy your time at Erebor, _an ngell nîn_. Fili, Dwalin, Balin, I believe that the three of you can take care of this.”

I straightened my tunic and walked out of the room. I could literally feel the weight being lifted off of my chest. Lucien made me so angry. He had gone too far this time. This was not… he wasn’t…. I was in no mood to put up with him.

“Eril, I’m sorry.” 

Oh, for fu- could he just not leave me alone?

“What do you want, Lucien? I have places that I have to go.”

“I was just… no, I am just jealous of that… _pe-channas_ dwarf.” Lucien said.

“You have no right to be jealous of him. You never had a chance to have something he has.”

“Can you truly say you will be happy with a mortal?”

“I’m with him, for better or for worse.”

I started to walk away. I was more than done with this conversation, and more than done with Lucien. He was far too confident in himself, and far too forward with what he felt and it was quite annoying.

“It’ll probably be for worse, you know.” Lucien called to me.

“I knew that when I met him.” I yelled back over my shoulder.

And I didn’t care about it, now or ever.

**~-~-~-~-~-**

I walked through Erebor, taking the long way back to our room. Honestly, where did Lucien get off, talking about Thorin like that? He had no right. He should have felt privileged to even be allowed in Erebor. If Thorin had known that it was Lucien representing Thranduil, he would have had him thrown from the ramparts. Hell, I wanted to have him thrown from the ramparts. He irked me. I shook my head. Lucien wasn't worth this much of my attention and I had more important things to do, such as make a public appearance with my husband.

I walked back into the room. Thorin was sitting in the corner. He had fallen asleep while waiting for me to finish my meeting. Had it really been that long? He was loosely holding onto a book and his head was leaning forward against his chest. I smiled, all of my previous woes forgotten. I moved to brush some of his hair behind his ear. He stirred and opened his eyes slowly. Thorin smiled when he saw me.

“I guess you didn't get enough sleep last night.” I said jokingly.

“And whose fault is that?” He yawned.

He looked really adorable when he yawned.

I grinned. “C’mon, we've got an appearance to make.”

I helped Thorin to his feet, which he took as an opportunity to give me kiss. 

“Whenever you're ready, my Queen.”

**~-~-~-~-~-**

Thorin and I stopped just before the gates out of Erebor. I moved my fingers to touch the cold metal of my betrothal band. I never took it off its chain. Thorin was standing confidently next to me. I wish I could say that I shared the same easy confidence. I felt very nervous about the whole thing. I knew that the people had accepted me into their world and add their queen, for the most part, but it didn't make the pit in my stomach go away. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, taking in the sounds of Erebor: the people talking, rushing water, the forges finally working again, and of course, the quiet sounds of miners below, working through great veins of gold and silver and gems. It was all quite relaxing once I got used to it all, like the sounds of Mirkwood. Those sounds and Thorin's presence next to me gave me enough courage to walk through the door to Dale.

In all honesty, I was really just there as a formality. Thorin was to give a speech about unity and the strength of Erebor, how they had recovered the mountain from such a terrible beast. I was really just there to show that Thorin did in fact have a queen. I was publicly silent, a role that would have suited me just fine. Thorin gave fantastic speeches. It just seemed that Thorin had another idea about my public appearance, one that suited the real me more.

“And of course, none of what we have accomplished, and will accomplish, would be possible without _my_ queen,” he said my rather possessively, didn't he? “Eril, daughter of Trahand.”

The majority of the people cheered, but I saw plenty of unpleasant expressions. Thorin stared them down. I had been under that gaze before. I was surprised that some of them lasted as long as they did against it, but even they were eventually clapping, albeit reluctantly. When the speech was done and the crowd had dispersed, Thoin visibly relaxed. As good of a king as he was, he really did need to sleep more. He worked late into the night and often times was awake before even me. That was his job, after all. That was what we had both expected. I just wished that I didn’t worry about him so damn much. It was really becoming a problem.

“Would you like to walk around Dale for a while? I don’t really feel like going back to the castle.” I said. “Show me around, Thorin.”

That was hopefully a good start to helping him relax.

“All right. I know a few places we could go.” Thorin smiled.

Thorin and I walked through the back ways of Dale to avoid the larger parts of the crowds. There were a few people that we met along the way, but nothing that we couldn’t handle. Thorin took me to the places he used to go to with his brother when they were children. Dis would always try to follow them but Thorin would stop her. She was still getting back at him for that, apparently. I wasn’t entirely surprised. That had been rather rude of him. I told him so. He looked more offended than he had when I insulted his beard. 

“I’ll have you know that I’ve been a perfect gentleman since the day I was born.” He insisted.

“Seeing as I was in my third millennium when you were born, I know for a fact that that isn’t true.” I said back. 

“Stop reminding me of that fact, please.”

“Never. Not until the day that I-”

Oh wait.

“Anyway,” I said quickly, “we’d probably better head back to the palace. I’m sure that someone has done something wrong somewhere and we’ll have to stay up all night to fix it. C’mon.”

It was my turn to take his hand. We started to walk back the way that we had come. Then I got that uneasy feeling again. The one that I had had before Thorin’s speech. I closed my eyes and tried to think around it. I tried to reason myself away from it all. I tried to make the feeling go away but it just wasn’t working. Thorin continued to talk of his earlier days and I tried my best to listen. I heard something come from the roof. I looked up and saw a shadow. The feeling got worse.

I saw the arrow fly before Thorin did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I forget to mention assassins? Elvish stuff: please and idiot I have to go to work in ten minutes goodbye


	18. No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because assassination attempts need to happen. For plot points. It's very important. You will see. Very important.

My hand instinctively reached out to catch the shaft. The arrowhead pierced through his tunic and I could see blood forming on the fabric. I had a flash of the nightmares from before, of Thorin dead in front of me and being completely helpless. I made sure that he was okay. The arrow had gone between his ribs. If it had been a little deeper, he would have died.

I found myself furious like I had never been before. Thorin and I were breathing heavily. This wasn't over yet. I heard Thorin call my name as I ran off. I was chasing this failed excuse for an assassin. I jumped up a cart to get to the roof. I could see the bastard running away. I reached for my bow and cursed. I knew that I didn't have it. I still had the arrow in my hand. I focused on running. Before I could focus on killing him for hurting Thorin. I was seeing red. 

I jumped to another roof. The assassin looked back. I couldn’t make out his face. I could at least confidently say that it wasn’t a dwarf. This person was far too tall. Whoever or whatever he was, he was going to pay for attempting to kill Thorin, for even considering it for a second. They jumped off of a roof and onto the ground, straight into a crowd of people. I could see them. He was making his way to Laketown. He would never make it that far, on my life. I jumped and rolled across the ground. I wished that I had my bow. This arrow was going to have to do. He turned down through an alley. I followed. I was getting closer now. He took another turn. That was a mistake. It would have been much quicker to go the way that I was. 

I intercepted him. I threw the arrow. It hit just behind his knee, cutting his hamstring. I smiled. He wasn’t going to be running anytime soon. He fell to the ground. I walked in a circle around him. The arrow was stuck in his leg. I pulled it out. He yelled in pain and grasped at his leg. 

“Now, let’s see who you are.” I reached down and pulled off his hood. “No. No, it can’t be.”

Light blond hair, pointed ears, a strange sense of beauty. This was an elf. This was Troeil. He looked up at me with his bright eyes, anger and fear and pain. This didn’t make any sense. This was wrong. He shouldn’t have been here. This shouldn’t have happened. No no no. If Troeil was the attempted assassin, then that would mean that he was trying to start a war, unless he was working alone.

“Why did you do this?!” I asked. “Do you know what this means?!”

“We all have our orders.” Troeil spat. “Mine just happened to be a bit more enjoyable than others.”

I saw red again. I moved my hand. The arrow met skin. Specifically, the skin on his neck. The blood spread across the street. My eyes widened in horror. No, I hadn’t meant to… I didn’t intend to… no! It was too late. Troeil was dead. I had killed him. I reached into his cloak pockets. I felt a piece of parchment. I pulled it out. I was horrified to see the wax seal that represented Thranduil’s house. Thranduil’s kingdom. If this was his seal, then he had given the orders and this was all wrong. And I had killed him. No no no. I opened the letter. Something was wrong.

This wasn’t Thranduil’s handwriting.

I had seen it so many times. There was no way that this was his. This was a fake order. Thorin was meant to find this. Or someone was, anyway. Probably me. Clearly, whoever had done this knew that I would act before I thought where it concerned Thorin. Just look at what I had done. It dawned on me. This… this was an act of war. Someone was trying to start a war. I could just be grateful that Troeil wasn’t really supposed to be here. He wasn’t a diplomat. He had come with Lucien as a guest.

Lucien.

This had to have something to do with him. With his visit. Was the trade agreement just a… a ploy?

I couldn’t let Thorin find out about this. I couldn’t let him know what was going on. There was no way. He was even more irrational than me. The instant he found out that it was an _elf_ that tried to kill him, he would order an attack on Thranduil’s kingdom. He would start a war.

No no no no no. 

I had to take care of this.

I stuffed the note into my pocket. I could at least say that none of Troiel’s blood had spilled onto me. I looked up at the dark sky. Storm clouds were blocking at the sun. That would take care of the blood on the ground.

Thorin could never know.

**~-~-~-~-~-**

Thorin had gone back to the palace. I made my way there. I kept my hand in my pocket the whole time, the paper rough against my skin. This couldn’t be happening. I shook my head. Thorin was in what was sort of a medical area. His shirt was lying on a slab of rock and Oin was just finishing a few stitches on Thorin’s wound. My throat tightened. I had to lie to him. I had to because there was just nothing else that I could do. I would _not_ watch that happen, and I would not let Thorin be the cause. It would have been pointless.

“Eril! I wondered when you’d be back. I was close to chasing after you!” Thorin smiled and brushed Oin away.

“Yes, well, perhaps it’s best that you didn’t.” Because it was an elf. “I didn’t catch him.” I killed him instead.

“Well, that’s a shame. Still, he failed. That’s what’s important, right?”

“You’re being very strangely calm.” I sat next to him. Oin left the room. “I was certain you’d be furious.”

“I was. Then I had to walk back to Erebor with a hole in my chest and without you by my side and I calmed down.”

“That’s great.”

Thorin kissed me. I felt awful. I hated lying to him.

This wasn’t right, but what else could I do?

That night, when Thorin was asleep, I pulled out the letter.

_Troeil,_

_Your orders are clear. Thorin Oakenshield will only cause problems for us in the future._

_Kill him, and Eril Trahandiel, if you can._

_King Thranduil_

Anyone else would have been fooled by the handwriting. Anyone else would have believed that Thranduil wanted Thorin dead.

They would have wanted to start a war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because lying and betrayal must happen. FOR PLOT POINTS!


	19. Back to Normal, I Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's the aftermath, I guess. Sort of. But not yet.
> 
> By the way, for a comment I made earlier today to the user Julie- I am in fact very evil. It has been proven as fact.

I felt guilty. Every time I looked at Thorin, it was overpowering. I hated it so much. I hated lying to him, even if it was for his own good. Everything was just… it was just wrong. I could barely look him in the eyes and he thought that it was his fault. Perhaps it was, in a way, but I could never think of it that way. It was my fault. I had killed Troeil, I had hidden the note. I was lying to everyone. I still had the letter. I wasn’t sure why. I should have gotten rid of it, burned it, ripped it to pieces, anything. But I didn’t. I never did. When Thorin was asleep, late in the night, I would pull the letter out from one of my books. It was a volume that Thorin never even looked at twice. It was the best thing that I could think of. There was just something stopping me from destroying it.

I think it was the guilt of killing one of my own.

Not even when I was escaping from Mirkwood did I kill any elves. I had never even seriously considered it. I had been defending Thorin, but that was only a justification. I could have left him alive. I could have taken him to the dungeons. But I didn’t. I consciously made the decision to end his life. I had made the choice and I had to live with that. 

But I didn’t want to. I wanted to tell someone. I had to tell someone. But I couldn’t. I hated this. I had to continue to smile and act normal all while hating myself for lying to Thorin. And the worst part was that he never suspected anything. Or if he did, then he was lying to me as well. It hadn’t even been three months since we had been married and we were already lying to each other. That had to be some sort of a record. Then again, maybe not, but it was for us. 

I sighed and set aside the book that I had been holding. I looked outside the window. It was dark out now and it was raining quite heavily. I stood up and walked out onto the terrace. I closed my eyes and held my head towards the sky, letting the rain wash over me. I think that a part of me was hoping that it would wash away the knowledge that I had now. I wanted for it all to go away, but I knew that I couldn’t. I had to get to the end of this. I had to stop it. Even if just for an instant.

“Eril?” I heard Thorin call my name from inside. When he saw where I was, he came outside with a blanket. He placed it over my shoulders. “What are you doing out here? You’ll catch your death a cold, you know.”

“Since when do you care about that? We went through worse on the journey here, remember? One of you blamed Gandalf.” I smiled and pulled the blanket closer to me, grateful for the warmth.

“Of course I remember. There was also the night that we spent walking from Rivendell in the mountains. I remember that night particularly well.” 

Thorin smirked. I shook my head, but smiled nonetheless. Just standing here with him made it all just fade away, just for an instant. That was all I needed.

Or so I thought.

As we walked back in, the feeling of foreboding washed over me again. The guilt and the worry were back. I couldn't escape them. I put my hand on Thorin's chest. The new wound was still raw, resting over the scar from Azog’s blade. Both of these were my fault, weren't they? I had created this. I was the reason that he was hurt.

“I didn't thank you properly for saving me at Dale.” Thorin said, placing his hand over mine.

No no no. Don't thank me, please.

“You're constantly saving my life.”

No I'm not. I'm constantly ruining his life.

“I don't know what I'd do without you.”

Probably have an extended lifespan, honestly.

“I think you've done more for me, Thorin.” I was desperate to change the subject.

I took my hand away from Thorin. I couldn't stay here. Not now, not until I told someone. Someone that I trusted completely. Someone like…

“I've been meaning to talk to you, but I've been planning a short trip, recently.”

“A trip? To where?” 

Thorin looked shocked and just a little hurt, which was not helping my guilty conscience.

“Just to see Bilbo. Two months, I think, is how long I'll be gone.”

“Two months?”

“Well, the Shire is a long ways away.”

“I'll come with you, then.”

“No!” That would defeat the whole purpose of the trip. “It's just… it's been a long time since I've seen Bilbo and…” I had to think of something. “I think I'd just like to see him alone, for old times sake. Besides, you're needed here. At least one of us should be a responsible ruler.”

Thorin sighed and studied my face. I tried to hide the real reason from my face. He smiled.

“I suppose asking you to take a guard won't work, will it?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Then I will only ask that you take care not to die on this trip. Times are growing darker, and the roads more dangerous. If I lost you, well, I don't think that I would survive it.” Thorin kissed me again and the guilt came back again. I didn't get a moment of peace from it.

“I promise, Thorin, and when I come back, everything will go back to normal.”

I hoped.

“Yes, you do seem to be more shaken up about this than me.”

“You’ve noticed that, then?”

Did he find the letter? No, there was no way that he would have been this calm if he had. Then what had given me away?

“Of course I have. You’re my wife. I’d be a lousy husband if I couldn’t tell when something was bothering you.”

Oh. Right. I had been so worried about the letter, I’d forgotten how well he actually knew me.

“Yes, I suppose that you would.” I agreed with a short nod.

“There’s the Eril that I’ve missed.” He kissed me softly.

“I’ll leave in the morning.”

That was sudden.

“Then let’s make tonight count.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But you must wait to see what happens at the Shire and with Bilbo and Eril and Thorin and Lucien and Thranduil because believe me. So much happens. Or will happen. Even I don't know what's happening. What am I doing here? What's going on? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Ahem* Anyway I'm on a two week holiday/winter break, so I hope that I don't have to work a lot and I have more time to write, but you never know. I mean, I don't start work again until the 26th at least, so you know. There's that. Yeah. Fun. BACK TO THE POINT I hope you enjoyed the story so far.


	20. The Sanctuary of the Shire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas! Well, belated. Also, Happy Holidays, whatever holiday you celebrate being also celebrated here. Wow. With that sentence that I actually typed and left here it is _very_ hard to believe that english is my first language. Great. Anyway, enjoy this instalment. Because it was fun to write. I know Bilbo's not in this story a lot, and he probably won't be in it again until the very end, but you know what, this is about Thorin and Eril, not Bilbo and Eril, god dammit! *ahem* sorry. This story is probably 2/3 of the way done. Probably.

Like I had suspected, it was a two week journey to the Shire by myself on horseback. I was trying my best to get there as quickly as I could. I _needed_ to talk to Bilbo. He had to have some idea what I should do. He had to know, because if he didn’t, then all was really lost for me. All my hope would be gone. I’d never be able to face Thorin again. Why should I have felt that way? I was doing the right thing. I knew that I was. So why did I feel so bad?

I shook my head. The Shire was in view now. I could see it. I could see Bag End not so far off. A sense of relief washed over me. The guilt was gone, at least for now. I wasn’t even thinking of what had happened. I was just happy to go and see my friend. It had been so long since I had seen him. This would help to bring me back to simpler times. I was in the sanctuary of the Shire now. It was able to calm me down so easily. I could understand why Bilbo loved it here so much. There was so much to love. The rolling hills, the forests that seemed to extend for forever, the rushing rivers… it seemed like a nice place to settle down. Of course, the Shire couldn’t hold a candle to Erebor, not for me.

Damn, now I was thinking of Troeil again.

This was not going to end well for me.

I got strange looks from the hobbits as I walked along the path. This wasn’t surprising to me. They were only fond of visitors that they knew. I knew none of the hobbits along the path, but I smiled nicely at them. I had at least made the wise choice to be dressed in simple travelling clothes. That made me appear a little more to their standards. I looked up the hill. Bilbo was outside, sitting on his little bench, smoking a pipe and looking down at the small oak tree growing in front of his hobbit hole. I smiled. This was exactly what I had needed.

I walked up to the gate and leaned against the fence.

“You know, I’ve heard rumours of this hobbit who’s been rather strange. Hanging with dwarves and the like.” I said. “Quite the strange chap, if you ask me.”

“And I’ve heard about an elf and a dwarf that got married. How queer is that? It’s completely unheard of, isn’t it?” Bilbo countered, a chuckle in his voice. “What are you doing here, Eril? Come in, come!”

He opened that gate for me and hugged me. I hugged him back. 

“I just wanted to speak with an old friend, is that such a crime?”

“Without Thorin?”

“Well, we aren’t attached at the hip, are we? He had business to attend to, and I needed to do this alone.” I would have to talk about it eventually. That was the entire purpose of this expedition. “There’s something that I needed to talk to you about.”

“What happened? Is something wrong?”

“This is something that we should discuss inside.”

Bilbo agreed. We headed inside. I ducked through the door and sat at the small table. Bilbo made tea. Now that I was actually here, I realised how hard it would be to even tell Bilbo what had happened. It was something that would change everything. But I had to tell him. I had to let him know. Bilbo sat quietly, sipping on his tea while I told him everything. He was definitely a good listener. 

“Do you know who sent the assassin, if it wasn’t Thranduil?” Bilbo asked.

“I’m almost positive that it’s Lucien or someone else from one of the factions that doesn’t agree with this union.” I responded, holding the cup closer to me. “I don’t know. I don’t know! I just… there’s no possible way for me to know, not really, not for certain. I just know that it _wasn’t Thranduil_. I signed his documents for hundreds of years, I watched as he wrote treaties and brokered deals, and that was not his handwriting.”

“And you are certain?”

“Of course I am!”

“Then why haven’t you told Thorin? Surely he would listen to you of all people.”

“Do- do you remember when we first reach the hidden door? The way that Thorin behaved?”

“He seemed normal then.”

“He sent you in to face Smaug alone.”

“I was the burglar.”

“It was still wrong! And when we thought that you might have… that you were going to… it took all of us to convince him to come and get you. He wasn’t himself. He wouldn’t listen to anyone, certainly not me.”

“He… really?”

“I’m afraid that if I even for a second give him any clue that it could have been Thranduil, he would launch an attack immediately. He won’t listen to me.”

Bilbo nodded. “That is completely understandable, given his history and his family’s history. But you need to trust him, don’t you?”

“What if I lose him again? I can’t take that. I couldn’t ever come back from that.” I shook my head. “This will start a war between the elves and the dwarves like no one has ever seen. We can’t afford that now, not with what’s on the horizon.”

“War is inevitable.”

“Not this one. This war can be prevented. This war _has_ to be prevented.”

“At what cost?”

Everything. Everything that was going on here was going to fall apart if I didn’t tell Thorin. 

“I have to tell him, don’t I?”

“I think that if you think that’s the best, then that’s what you should do.”

“When did you become so wise, Bilbo?” I gave a small smile.

“I spent far too much time with an elf on an adventure to fight a dragon.” Bilbo chuckled. “Some of her wisdom must have rubbed off on me.”

“Far too much of it. There’s not enough left for me.”

“I think you’re just in love, Eril, and you would do anything to protect Thorin. You know that, I know that, and Thorin knows that. You just have to hope that that’s enough.”

Was he right? Could this advice really be what I had come here for? On the one hand, Thorin would listen to me and we could figure out who really did this. On the much less agreeable hand, Thorin would completely overreact and start a war that Thranduil would overreact to and it would cause a much larger scale war that would divide dwarves and elves more than they already were, making the two races much more vulnerable to the darkness that I could sense emanating from somewhere. Somewhere far far away, yet strangely close. I shook my head. I had no intention of going home just yet. I just had to get rid of any doubts that I had before I could face Thorin. If I decided not to say anything, then I had to be able to look him in the eye. I had to be able to treat him the way that I felt all of the time. If I told him, I had to be prepared for anything that could go wrong. I even had to prepare for the possibility that I might… that I might lose him.

Bilbo was calming. Bilbo was someone who I could rely on. He helped me walk through all of the options. I was just tired. I was very tired of all of this, I was tired of what was going on and of the hatred that was spread amongst the dwarves and elves. If they would just work together, all of this could be avoided. That would never happen.

My decision was made. I had to tell Thorin the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you enjoy it? I enjoyed writing it at one in the morning. Because it was Christmas and I was able to spend a lot of time with my family and a couple friends, I got a really cool Khuzdul decoder ring as well as another copy of the Hobbit (the 75th anniversary edition awwwww yeah [I have an illustrated version that I love and now I have two for when I leave for college awwwww yeah] I love it so much) as well as a box set of the Lord of the Rings. There are maps of Middle Earth in the back. I definitely did _not_ map out the journey from the Shire to Erebor.


	21. I Promise I Was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated in a timely fashion. Someone made a deal with a devil. Who was it?

I stayed in the Shire for a week longer than I meant to. It was only partially to avoid talking to my husband. It was also because I wanted to spend some time with my friend. He, in the end, very lovingly kicked me out of his house to, as Bilbo put it, “deal with my problems like an adult”. So, I was walking back to Erebor. Well, riding. I had a horse. It was another two weeks before I was back at Erebor. I even travelled through Mirkwood to get there a little faster. I had been gone two and a half months. Again, longer than I had intended, but probably necessary. I hoped that it had been necessary. I don’t think that I made a mistake. I hoped that I hadn’t made it a mistake.

I didn’t.

Did I?

I looked up at the mountain. The great gate seemed more menacing and less inviting than usual. I was greeted as I walked through Dale, but I didn’t feel like talking with anyone but Thorin. I had to tell Thorin what had happened and hope that he took it gracefully. I hoped that he would understand why I had done what I had done or that he would at least forgive me. I gave my horse to someone at the stables and walked to the throne room. Thorin was sitting on the throne, his head resting in his hands. He was the only one there. He looked far too tired. I could only imagine that he hadn’t been sleeping since I’d left. At least, he hadn’t been sleep near enough. I walked over to him.

He looked up at me and smiled. He hugged me around the waist.

“Welcome back.” Thorin said calmly.

“It’s good to be back.” I responded with a smile. “I missed this place. I missed you.” I kissed him.

“You were missed here as well. It’s good to have you back, Eril. I hope that your trip was successful.”

“Successful? I suppose it was, yes.” I responded. “Bilbo sends his regards.”

This was strange. I didn’t like this. It was just nerves. I was worried about losing Thorin so I was imagining that I was already. It was a simple explanation. 

“Now that I’m here I have to get settled. I will see you soon, Thorin.”

I kissed him and walked to our room. I had missed this place. I had missed my books, and the sights and everything. I had missed Thorin. That, this, everything was why I had to tell Thorin the truth. He deserved to know. It was an attempt on his life, after all. Though it hadn’t been tried again. Apparently, whoever had ordered the hit to be made had realised that they weren’t going to start a war so easily. Thorin had to know if the person really was trying to start a war. That should have been the only thing that was on my mind. I had been far too worried about other things.

I went to the book that I kept the letter in. That was all that I could do. I had to show him the letter. I flipped through the pages.

There was nothing there.

That was impossible. It had to be here. 

“Lose something?” Thorin asked.

No. No no no no he didn’t. This was not happening this way. This was going to end very, very badly for me. I could feel it. No. I didn’t have to feel it. It was very obvious from the beginning that this was not going to go well for me. Why was I such a fool. I turned around to face Thorin. He was holding the letter in his hand.

“I was wondering when you would tell me about this.” Thorin said with a dark tone. 

“I take it you had it translated.” I said softly. 

“I didn’t have to.”

“You learned Sindarin?”

That would have been really touching if the circumstances were different.

“I did. Before you left. And then I found this. It made me wish that I hadn’t learned it.”

“Thorin, I was going to show that to you. Today, actually. I promise I was. I wanted to explain-”

“Explain what?! That you’re covering for a king who tortured you? A king who took advantage of you, and disrespected you?!” Thorin’s voice progressively got louder and louder as he spoke. 

“You have done the same! No. No, I didn’t mean that. But I’m not covering for him! That letter isn’t from Thranduil.”

Please. He had to believe me. This was not the way that this was supposed to go. He just had to listen to me. He just had to look past his anger and listen to reason for even a short time. That’s all I needed. One moment of reason. That wasn’t exactly his strong suit. This wasn’t going to be a very good day for me.

“He signed it.”

“And that’s not his signature. Nor is it his handwriting.”

“How would you even know?”

“Thorin, I worked for him for thousands of years. I saw his writing and his signature everyday. His seal isn’t even on the letter, it's on the envelope, and that's never how he's done that.”

“What happened to the assassin?” He asked,

“What?”

“What happened to the assassin? You said you didn’t catch him. If so, then how did you acquire this letter?”

“I… I killed him. That’s how I found the letter.” I looked away from him, turning to the window. This was not how I envisioned my reunion to Thorin going. Not even close. I pictured some fighting. Not like this. 

“You lied to me.”

“To stop you from making a mistake and starting a war. You’re not exactly the most… well, you aren’t exactly rational when it comes to elves.”

“You _makk an e ha’ak._ ”

“Excuse me?”

“How could you lie to me? It’s been months.”

“I was with Bilbo.”

“And why did you go there?”

Now the question was whether or not I was supposed to lie to him about why I went to the Shire. Seeing as how lying was what got me in trouble in the first place and was the current topic of the argument, it would have to be completely insane to lie now. Of course, this would open up another door and possibly drag Bilbo into it. I hoped that this wouldn’t last long enough for him to get word to Bilbo and have Bilbo get back to us with his answer.

“To ask his opinion of telling you what was going on. To tell him that his friend was almost murdered. And to talk to someone that I care for. There are a thousand reasons for me to have gone to Bilbo. There just happens to be another reason that currently holds the light.”

“Eril, someone tried to kill me!”

“And that kills me!” I whirled around. “Why can’t you see that? Everything that I have done in the past three years of my life has been to prolong yours! I saw that arrow flying towards you and I couldn’t breath! I read the letter and my heart stopped! I know you, Thorin! I know how you react to things! I know that you won’t listen to me. I know that you’ll jump to conclusions and that you’d blame Thranduil. It _wasn’t him_. This letter, this attempt on your life, none of it was organised by him.”

“You have nothing to prove that. You know him as well as I. This is something that he would do.”

“ _Wazzock. Dôl lost lîn. Rhachon le. Ego, mibo orch._ ”

Did I mean any of that? About half. Really only the first half or so. Then again… it would be interesting to see him try to kiss an orc. I didn’t curse him. So, it was the beginning and the end, taking out the middle. It was funny how much we said without meaning it. 

“ _Pe-channas! Metun menu rukhas. Ozirum menu seleku_.” He said back. I wondered how much he meant of that.

“As if I would want to!” I responded rather boldly. “You’re so pig-headed, Thorin! Honestly! To think that I… I was trying to stop you from starting a foolish war!”

“Who are you to judge what is and isn’t foolish?!”

“Someone far better suited to this than you! I have seen kingdoms rise and fall! I have watched kings lose their power in a blink of an eye. I know this world far better than you, Thorin Oakenshield.”

“And I rule _this_ kingdom! I am the King Under the Mountain! It is not your decision to make!” Thorin dipped his head. I had seen that look before. That was the look he had when he was under the influence of the Arkenstone. Not this. He grabbed my arm. He held it in a vice-like grip. 

“Thorin. Let go of my arm. Now.”

The dark look over his face faded. He looked at his hand on my arm and let go slowly, backing away from me.

“Leave.” He said quietly.

“Excuse me?” My eyes widened in fear. No. No no. Please don’t do this Thorin. He couldn’t possible be doing this.

“Go. I need time. Time to process all of this.”

I didn’t say anything. I just knew that I had to prove I was right. And I wasn’t coming back until I did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (It was whoever made me watch the hobbit series six times yesterday [aka my cousin])
> 
>  
> 
> **Translations**  
>  __  
>  **Khuzdul**  
>  _makk an e ha’ak_ \-- Son of a bitch  
>  _Wazzock_ \-- Foolish, Idiot.  
>  _Metun menu rukhas. Ozirum menu seleku_ \-- You dine with orcs. You couldn't forge a spoon.
> 
>  **Sindarin**  
>  _Dôl lost lîn. Rhachon le. Ego, mibo orch_ \-- Your head is empty, I curse you, Go kiss an orc  
>  _Pe-channas!_ \-- Idiot
> 
>  
> 
> _Basically, they call each other idiots. A lot._  
> 


	22. Elvenking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. There. A new chapter. With the elvenking. And we all know who that is. Yeah.

Mirkwood. That was where I had to go. It was obvious to me that Thorin wasn’t going to listen to me unless I had evidence of what was going on. Thranduil wasn’t any more reasonable than Thorin, but he would hopefully want to avoid this war just as much as me. Thorin had made it clear that he was going to start one. He truly believed that Thranduil was the one behind the assassination attempt and refused to speak to me about it further. Or at all, for that matter. So I was gone, like he had requested. So I was off.

I took a horse from the stables and supplies. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. I couldn’t. Thorin already thought that I was working with Thranduil because I hid the letter. I tried to explain to him why again and he rejected me again. This was the only way. This was the only way that I would be able to get him to see how wrong he really was. He hated to admit it so I had to show him By going to Thranduil. Once again, if I was caught, there would be a war. 

What exactly had I gotten myself into? Was this the plan of the assassins all along? If so, this was a very good plan. Very well thought out.

I had to force myself not to think about Thorin. Instead, I focused on my horse. I had to make sure that I didn’t go too fast and wear her out. I focused on her and not on Thorin. Not on how he hated me now. Not at all on how much he wanted to start a war. And most certainly not on my self-doubt. There was a chance I was wrong, wasn’t there? Even if it was something miniscule. Tiny. Small. Possibly medium sized. This was fine. I was fine.

Everything was fine.

I stopped at Laketown for supplies. I had Aduial and my bow, as well as some arrows and a couple of daggers. Just in case. I had left in such a hurry that I could only grab my weapons. Besides, it aroused less questions. The people wouldn’t ask where I was going or why I wasn’t with the king. The people of Laketown would be less inclined to question these things. I got everything that I needed and started to leave again. 

I wasn’t stalling. That was ridiculous.

Absolutely absurd.

It was a two day trip at the speed that I was going. I left my horse outside of the forest. Mirkwood had gotten better since the journey to Erebor. The undergrowth was too thick for a horse to be moved through effectively. I made my way through quickly along the elven path. I reached the gates. I wasn’t exactly sure how they would respond to me. The last couple interactions I had had with the elves weren’t that great. I mean, I had given Thranduil the Arkenstone. That had to stand for something. Right. Thranduil could be reasonable. Sometimes. He would understand this.

The guards at the gate called down to me.

“What is your business here, Eril Trahandiel?” They asked me.

“I wish to speak to the elvenking.” I responded confidently.

The guards conferred for a moment and then agreed to open the gate. I walked inside. One of them stepped next to me and escorted me to the palace. People looked out of their windows. I stood tall. I had the letter in my pocket. I knew that Thranduil would accept that this was a fake and he would give me the proof that I needed to prove to Thorin that I was right. And also prevent a war. The war was more important. That was what I was worried about. Obviously. 

I was taken to Thranduil. Well, Thranduil’s throne room. Another guard left to go retrieve Thranduil from wherever he was. I stood in silence and thought of the witty comments that I could make instead of actually making them. I was trying to keep my nervous habits in check. It seemed like the smart move, considering where I was. And the situation. I had to be on my best behaviour. Thranduil was just about as reasonable as my ever so loving husband who kicked me out of Erebor for lying to him about a mildly important letter that I kept hidden in a book that he apparently enjoyed more than I had previously thought, if not less so.

No, he was definitely more reasonable. That was just a simple fact.

Thranduil came in with his hands behind his back. He looked over me. He didn’t look upset but he certainly wasn’t pleased to see me. More indifferent, I think. I hoped. He sat on his throne. More silence. He was making a power play. He really didn’t have to, considering that he was the king here. I mean, I was the queen of Erebor. Not that I was bragging, but a mountain has more surface area than a forest. Plus Dale. And Laketown. So there was that. But Thranduil had Mirkwood. So he was in charge. While we were here.

“What brings you here, Eril? And without your husband. This is highly unusual.” Thranduil spoke regally and quietly.

“But highly necessary, you’ll find. You see, there’s been a slight, well, let’s call it a problem.” I responded. “As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, there was an attempt on Thorin’s life a month or so ago and I discovered an incriminating letter on the assassin. An elvish assassin.”

“Let me see this letter.”

Wow. This was going better than I had thought. Perhaps it would have been a good idea to tell Thorin from the beginning. I handed Thranduil the letter. He snatched it. I would say he took it with force, but it was clearly petty. He read over it.

“So you have come to try and what, exactly? Blame me for _this?_ ” Thranduil threw the letter.

Well, that took a turn for the worst very quickly.

“Of course not! I came to warn you, no, no, not warn. Warn is the wrong word for this situation. It’s more like me coming to get your word that you did not send this assassin.”

I wasn’t helping.

“Proof? You require proof that I did not send an assassin?”

“I don’t. Thorin would enjoy more reassurance than just my word.”

“Then your husband doesn’t listen to you.”

“That’s not what I said,”

How was this happening? How were two kings so… idiotic? Honestly. This was ridiculous. The two of them were going to drive me insane. Correction. They were driving me insane. And they were going to continue to drive me insane because that was what they did. It was all that they could do. It was all they knew.

“Thranduil, I just want to avoid a pointless war. Honestly, think about it. Our two worlds should be coexisting, not fighting. It could be catastrophic. Surely you know this. One of you has to see this.”

Well, there was that. That was not something that I should have said and I instantly regretted it.

“You think so low of me then? That I would really allow for a war to break out. Now I think that may be your intention. For me to start the war and make Erebor to be the victims.”

This was not happening. This could not be happening. Was I entirely the reason that this war was happening?

The answer to that was entirely yes. All of this was my fault.

“I believe you’re already acquainted with our dungeons.”

Dammit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired and I'm going to start a new chapter later today. I think I work next week. I don't know. I'm tired. Good night.


	23. Why Am I in a Dungeon Again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 23 aka how many cliches can I stuff into one paragraph without you noticing?

I was again in a dungeon. Again. And in Thranduil’s dungeon, no less. With my weapons just sitting, in view. This was not good. This was bad. I was locked in another cage. Staring at bars. And I couldn’t use the same trick as before. I would have to try to figure out a better way to get out. A new way. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall. I slid down onto the floor. I was in quite the situation here. I’m not entirely sure why I kept on thinking that these people were capable of being reasonable. Honestly they weren’t even close to being remotely reasonable. Not even for a second. It was my own fault. I mean, at least I wasn’t in the same- wait. This was the same cell I had been in before. Thorin and I had shared this cell. Thranduil was terrible.

That was just a given.

I had said that so many times before. This was just another one of those times and it was clearly distracting me from my current predicament. I could get out of this no problem. This was going to be, you know, another great thing to talk about later on, when Thorin and I were together again. It would get better again. It always did. It was one thing that I loved about our relationship. I was again distracting myself. This was not going to help me get out of here in the slightest. 

I stood up and walked to the gate. I obviously knew that I couldn’t just wave my hand and expect for the door to open for me, as amazing as that would have been. There used to be a weakness that I could have exploited if I could just… I needed leverage. The right amount of pressure on the hinges would have to be enough to break them. There had to be something here that I could use to prop against the door. Surely. Anything other than rocks. It wasn’t like Thranduil had just left furniture lying around the cells and I couldn’t break the lock with a rock. Something else then. Something just as clever. I could do that. I could do something clever. I did clever things all the time, if I could only remember what some of those things were that could possibly help me now. Maybe there was an invisible hobbit that could just grab the keys again. That would be exceptionally helpful right about now.

Since when was anything ever helpful towards me?

I heard footsteps approaching my cell. I didn’t suppose that it was someone coming to set me free. That would make my planning process much shorter.

Again, I was never lucky. It was Thranduil.

“The Elvenking himself. To what do I owe this pleasure? Please, forgive me for my appearance. I wasn’t expecting company.” I said.

“Ah, how I have… _missed_ your sarcasm.” Thranduil gave a thin smile. “Do you know why you’re down here?”

“Could it possibly be because you think I’m intending on starting a war when in fact I’d like to stop one?”

“Enough. That’s more than enough from you. You are here because not only did you present to me a forged letter, but your people have also been suspected in an attack on one of our patrols.”

“What?” This was an interesting development. “I can assure you that the dwarves of Erebor had nothing to do with any attacks on your people. We have wanted nothing but peace.”

“Is that right?”

“Of course it is, Thranduil.” I walked to the bars. “You drive me insane, but you have my respect. I would not wish any harm upon you.”

“That’s not entirely true.”

“Dammit Thranduil! You should know better than anyone that I would do anything for the people that I care about! I gave you the Arkenstone, knowing full well that it would mean that Thorin would hate me, but it saved his life. Why would I try to start a war that would most certainly end in the death of Thorin? Think that through for a moment, Thranduil. Think about the logic behind that.”

“We found a letter.”

“Of course you found a letter! We found a letter!”

“With your seal. Which makes the fact that you came here alone all the more… troubling.” Thranduil produced a letter from his jacket. “It states your intent in the attack. It does sound like something you would write. I believe that your motive was not to start a war but create a sham alliance.”

“You’re accusing me of trying to start a fake alliance? Really? That’s… that’s what you’re going with? You do realise how insane that sounds, yes?”

“You said it yourself, Eril. You would do anything to protect the people you care about. I must assume that that includes lying to me.”

“Thranduil, I would never.”

“You were once put to death. Or were to be put to death. I think that this warrants you staying in this cell. It is fitting, don’t you think?”

“Do you really think that Thorin would stand for this?”

“Then perhaps you will start a war.”

Thranduil turned, dropping the letter. It landed within reach of me. How convenient, like a well placed plot device in a story. I studied it carefully. That most certainly was my seal. I could recognise it anywhere. Because it was my seal. Of course, the handwriting was atrocious. Nothing like mine. I hoped. No. It wasn’t like mine at all. The syntax was all wrong. Honestly, what was Thranduil thinking? Well, clearly he wasn’t. I had to get out of here. I had to get out of here and warn Thorin. This was getting out of hand. 

Was I causing a war by trying to stop one? Maybe that was true.Those that try to cause the end, delay it’s coming, while that’s that wish to delay it only push it closer. That was something that I needed to acknowledge now more than anything. The path of good intentions never had a happy ending. This was my fault. All of this was my fault. Now I had to live with that.

I heard more footsteps coming towards me. It was more quiet and seemingly had more purpose.

“Thorin?” I asked quietly, trying my best and failing miserably to keep the desperation from my voice.

“Not quite, _meleth-nin_.” It was Lucien. Of _course_ it was Lucien.

“Not quite who I was looking for, but if you’re planning on helping me out of this mess, that would be fantastic.” 

“Of course I am.”

I wasn’t going to comment on the _meleth-nin_ just yet. Or the fact that I was fairly certain he was behind this whole plot. He was helping me get out of this predicament and helping me not have to think about how to get out. It would have taken me at least a day to come up with a viable plan and another day at least to get what I needed to put said plan into action. Yes, letting Lucien unlock the cage was much easier. Lucien held up the keys.

“Well, get to it and use them, you bloody fool.” I said impatiently.

“Right, of course, love.” Lucien responded.

No comment. Not now. I was close to freedom.

Lucien pulled open the door. I let out a sigh of relief and stepped out. I was surprised when Lucien grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into a kiss. It was certainly unexpected and quite strange kissing someone taller than me. I didn’t enjoy it. It reminded me of all the reasons I left him in the first place. That and the whole he was more than likely the mastermind behind quite the plot.

“Eril.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6 in the answer, by the way.


	24. **Stern**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since there have been asterisks in the title. Several chapters. 7 chapters. Enjoy, you crazy kids.

Well that was a stern voice that I had sincerely hoped I wouldn’t hear now. I pushed Lucien away very forcefully and turned to see Thorin standing in the doorway, decked out in his leather outfit and Orcrist. This was an awkward situation.

“Thorin! Why are you here?” I asked.

“To save my wife.” He said. I was surprised that he wasn’t more angry with me. Instead, he stood next to me, put an arm around my waist, and pulled me closer to his side while he kept a stern gaze on Lucien. “Though clearly someone else had a similar thought.”

“Well, according to all of the rumours, you had abandoned her. Something you would never find me doing.” Lucien countered.

This was not happening in the dungeons of Thranduil’s kingdom. This was a terrible idea. This was going to end badly for all of us. We had to leave now.

“Simply rumours. Clearly. I would thank you, but we really must be going.”

“She’s my damsel. I shall be the one to finish this rescue mission.”

“I am no one’s damsel!” I said in frustration. “Thank you both. I think I can handle it from here.” I grabbed my weapons. “If you would wish to join me in a stealthy retreat, then by all means. Otherwise, stay here and grab something to measure with. Fare thee well.”

I was rather happy with that exit. It was a strong exit. Thorin followed me. Unfortunately so did Lucien. The invitation to escape really hadn’t included him. It would have been hilarious to see him behind bars for helping me escape. Thorin stayed next to me, gripping my hand tightly, making sure that Lucien could see us. He was even using his weaker hand to hold his sword.

“I don’t forgive you yet.” Thorin said. “You did lie to me.”

“Are you sure? Because you did come here to rescue me. I didn’t need you to.”

“I know!” He said defensively. “But you’re still my queen, even if I’m mad at you, _amrâlimê_.”

“Thank you, _meleth-nin_. Though I think it would be a better to talk about this when we are safe back in Erebor.”

“Agreed. He’s not invited.”

“Agreed.”

Thorin lead me through a passage he had used to get here. There were one or two guards that had been knocked out. This was not going to help with the whole war situation. Still, I was glad to be out of that place. The dungeons of Mirkwood weren’t pleasant. Well, the ones that stored the people put to death were actually quite cushy. It was all of the other ones that were hellish. Anyway, I had to start focusing on getting out.

Thorin took a turn and we were in fresh air. There was a horse and a pony tied to a tree.

“Well, this is where we leave you, Lucien. Farewell.” Thorin gave him a wave and mounted his pony.

“What am I supposed to do?” He asked.

“Did anyone see you come to the dungeons?” I asked him.

“No.”

“Great. Then tell them that you saw me escaping on my own.”

“Thranduil won’t believe me.”

“He will after this.”

I hit him in the face with Aduial’s hilt. It felt amazing. I loved it. He fell onto the ground, clutching his nose and cursing my name. I smiled and jumped onto my horse. Thorin was laughing really hard. It was nice to hear his laugh. And to see his smile. This was wonderful. I loved being with him. I knew that he was still mad at me but I think hitting Lucien was a step in the right direction for us.

Was it bad that violence was what made my relationship with my husband better?

Probably, but it was working and that was what was important.

We rode for hours, not really talking. We didn’t have to. This was just like old times. And I had gotten the proof that I needed. The letter Thranduil had so generously thrown at me was resting in my pocket. I reached a hand into my tunic, just to make sure. Yep. There it was. I felt the wax seal. It wasn’t mine. I had gotten what I had come here for. Now Thorin had to believe me. 

We stopped in a small alcove, not too far from Laketown. We made the decision not to enter the city until it was dark and we could sneak past the crowds. Thorin started a small fire and I leaned against a tree trunk.

“You know, you didn’t have to come save me.” I said.

“We’ve already been over this, haven’t we? You’re my queen. I will always come to your aid, even when you don’t necessarily want me to.” Thorin responded.

I walked over and sat next to him. “I know. Thank you, _dwarf_. I don’t deserve you.”

“No, you don’t, _elf_. But you got me anyway, somehow.”

I placed my hand under Thorin’s chin and turned his head to face me. “I’m sorry for everything that has happened between us these last few days. I really am.” I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his.

He grabbed my hair and pulled me closer to him, like he was desperate to keep me close for the rest of time. Thorin lifted me up and pressed my back against a tree. I let out a soft moan. I put a leg around his waist. I pressed my chest against his. He pulled away and started kissing my neck. He growled softly and pushed me harder against the tree, grinding our hips together.

I scratched at the leather against his chest. He chuckled and helped me remove it. I ran a hand across his chest.

“Eril, we should wait, shouldn’t we?” Thorin said, kissing my neck still.

“Thorin Oakenshield, telling me to wait? Since when?” I snapped, hot, bothered, and getting steadily more annoyed. 

“I agree.”

He started to pull away my clothing. I dragged my nails down Thorin’s back. He hissed softly. He removed my legs from his waist and pulled down my trousers and my underwear. I untied the bindings holding up his pants and pushed them down so they rested on his thighs and returned my legs to his waist. He didn’t move and I bucked impatiently against him. I could feel him smiling against my neck. He was enjoying this too much. I took matters into my own hands. I pushed off the wall to impale myself on him. He shuddered. Thorin rested his head on my shoulder.

He pushed me back against the tree. I pressed my heels into the small of his back, bringing him closer to me. He thrusted into me hard. I moaned and arched my head back. He pinned me to the tree. I didn’t care about the bark digging into my skin. He used his hips to buck into me over and over again. I met him thrust for thrust. I closed my eyes. Thorin leaned down and took one of my nipples in his mouth. I cried out. He switched from one breast to another.

I threaded my fingers in his hair and pulled his head up. I kissed him, exploring his mouth with my tongue. He didn’t let me stay dominant for long. He ran a hand down my body and pressed his thumb down on my clit. I cried out again. I buried my face in his shoulder, biting down as I came. After a few more sporadic thrusts, Thorin came deep inside of me. I sighed in satisfaction and released my legs from their death grip around his waist. 

“That’s a proper welcome almost home.” I smiled.

“You’re welcome.” He responded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is coming closer to the end. Are you excited?


	25. Home, Sweet Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're home at least.

In the dark, we went through Laketown, Dale, and made our way back into Erebor. The whole trip, I continually checked my pocket for the letter. I needed to make sure that it was there. I wasn’t going to take a risk with this. To think, i could have avoided all of this nonsense if I had just been honest. Who would have thought it was that simple?

Clearly not me.

Once we were back in Erebor, I felt a great weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I let out a heavy sigh of relief. 

“All right, you’ll be glad to know that I got the proof that I was looking for. So this wasn’t in vain.” I said, reaching for the letter, again relieved to find it was still there.

“Yes, because that’s what I was most worried about.” Thorin shook his head. “All right, let’s see it.”

“Another forged letter, this time, in my writing. It’s a very poor copy. In fact, the only way I could tell that it was supposed to be me was because of the wax seal. It’s _my_ seal, but it’s only a forgery. See, look.”

“Yes, yes, I know what your seal looks like. Very well. All right, so you did not send this letter.”

“Of course not!” I threw my hands in the air.

“All right, all right! But then who did? Have you thought of that?”

“I’ve got a couple of ideas. You’ll enjoy one of them.”

“Who?”

“Lucien. He has more motive than most.”

“What? What motive?”

“A war would elevate his status significantly. He would have the option to completely mobilise troops or withdraw them while Thranduil would be elsewhere, fighting with us. He would practically be in charge.”

“And as an added bonus, if something happened to me, he would try to get you back.”

“Please, Thorin, is this you being jealous?”

“It’s motivating me to find him and kill him.”

“We can’t kill him until he confesses, you know that, right?”

“Of course.”

Sure he did. But I knew that I was right. Lucien was behind this. He had been shocked when Thorin had showed up. It was like he had never expected for Thorin to forgive me, much less to try and rescue me. He would be given an advance in position while Thranduil was out fighting the war, and this would definitely be a war that he would want to be in the front lines for. He would love for the opportunity to kill Thorin himself if he thought that the dwarves had started this war. I would be an added bonus, but he would want to make my own execution more public, since he had failed to do so earlier.

Thank god I would live a few extra days in agony.

Yay for me.

Thorin and I formulated a plan. We knew that we had to do something and quickly. Now that I had the letter and had escaped under seemingly violent circumstances. I was really rethinking hitting Lucien in the face. Thinking about it again, I really didn’t. It had been one of the best moments of my life. 

We had to find a way to drag Lucien out. He had to think that it was the only way that his plan would work. And even more importantly, we had to have him confess in front of Thranduil, otherwise it would have been pointless. The only question left was how we were going to be able to do this. Lucien was intelligent. If he knew that I had this letter, he would know that we would try to get him to confess something. There had to be a way to do this properly. I knew the answer, of course. Thorin would hate it if I even suggested it.

He was mad at me anyway. What was the harm?

“He needs to believe that I’ve chosen him.” I said quietly and reluctantly.

“What?”

“Lucien has to believe that I have left you for him. It’s the only way.”

“No! Absolutely not! I will _not_ have my wife going to that… that… _rukhs shirumund caragu!_ ” Thorin protested so loudly that I was certain he woke half of Dale and all of Erebor.

“What other choice do we have, Thorin? We are running out of options! Thranduil will be preparing his troops for war! If they come here, the city will be destroyed again! If you have a better plan, then by all means, tell me so I don’t have to do this! Do you really think that I’m looking forward to seeing that _utinu en lokirim_ again? If I never did, it would be too soon. I am willing to do this for our people. It is a far better alternative to war. We don’t need another war. We’ve been to hell and back.”

“By Durin’s beard, Eril! Do you know what you are asking of me? You wish for me to sit idly by while you go fawn over a former lover!”

“I promise that when it is all over, you may hit him as hard as you wish. Does that help?”

“Only slightly.” He sighed. “There is no talking you out of this?”

“No, there isn’t.”

“Then I have no choice. It is to end a war before it begins.”

I took his hand. “ _Amralizi, meleth-nin._ ”

“I know. I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could the end be nearing?
> 
> _Translations_   
>  **Khuzdul**
> 
> _rukhs shirumund caragu!_ \-- Beardless orc dung
> 
> _Azralizi_ \-- I love you
> 
> **Elvish**
> 
> _utinu en lokirim_ \-- son of snakes


End file.
